On Nursing in Public vs. Smoking in Public

During World Breastfeeding Week, I remember reading a blog entry that was linked from one of the many breastfeeding articles, blogs, and forum discussions that were prominently linked or displayed on some of the social networking sites I belong to. I'm not sure where the actual link came from, but the blog stood out in my mind. I'm not even sure it was a blog, it could have very well been an article or editorial, but the actual source wasn't my focus, it was the subject matter.

The woman who wrote the essay, I'll call it, was intending to bring to light the fact that nursing in public is legal and a woman's right as much as smoking is. She discussed how she felt it was wrong to hold your breath or move on quickly past smokers or make rude comments because they are practicing their legal right to smoke. The same should be done for nursing mothers - rather than balk, make rude comments, or expect the mother to cover up or find another place to nurse, you should just go about your business because they are practicing their legal right to nurse in public.

While I understand the point she was trying to make, and agree with her position on nursing in public, I don't agree that it is the same as smoking in public. Yes, both are perfectly legal, I get that, but smoking has a much more profound affect on those not participating in the activity than nursing does.

When a mother is nursing in public, an offended or disturbed onlooker simply has to avert their eyes and move on. There is no one holding them in that spot or requiring them to watch a woman feed her baby. There is no need for them to focus in that particular direction.

The same is not so for walking by or seeing a smoker. When passing a smoker, one can hold their breath, but that does not mean that they are free from the ill effects that can occur from going past or being around that person. Even if the passerby made a point not to breathe, third-hand smoke (the smoke that settles on clothing and has been proven to be just as harmful as second-hand smoke) can still cause harm to the health of the person going by long after they passed the individual. Not to mention, an adult may know to hold their breath to protect themselves from the ill-effects of second-hand smoke, but a young child or infant doesn't know to do the same. The system of a baby is not even mature yet. Add that to the fact that many smokers ignore the laws that require them to smoke far away from entrances to public locations and it brings in a whole new set of problems. Above all, even a smoker who is following the law, can blow smoke into the air that can be carried by the wind and travel to a location near an entrance or near an individual that doesn't care to be negatively impacted by second- or third-hand smoke.

So, I would have to argue, that my health is negatively affected by someone smoking in public and I am not affected at all by someone nursing in public. They both may be legal, but they are not the same.

*As an added note: I am sorry if I offend someone who chooses to smoke, but I do not appreciate my efforts to keep my children healthy and free from the harmful effects of second- and third-hand smoke being unavoidably shattered simply because "it's legal". I don't say anything because as the original writer of the essay mentioned, it is within their rights. However, if you do choose to smoke, I beg you to respect those of us that choose not to and at least follow the law and smoke in approved areas. I know you can't change which way the wind blows, but you can do your part to respect the rights of others.

On Toxoplasmosis

One of the big topics for pregnant women is Toxoplasmosis. We are warned to avoid our cats, or at the very least, their litter boxes. After years of working in pet hospitals and doing research on the topic for our expectant mother clients, I want to set the record straight.

This topic has utterly annoyed me since my first pregnancy, but now that I'm expecting my second child, I've come in contact with continued frustrations. Two stand out in my mind. The first, when I went into the doctor's office to have an early pregnancy consult with one of their nurses. I was already annoyed at the requirement for this meeting since I felt nothing of value was gained (I merely discussed my family's medical background and got an appointment for the doctor). In discussing my medical background, I was asked if I had pets, which I do - a cat and a dog. The nurse went on to ask if I knew about the litter box. Yes, of course I did, this wasn't my first rodeo. At least, that seemed to be the end of the discussion. A second incidence was with my mother-in-law who came to visit and insisted that she clean out the litter boxes while she was there since my husband was out of town.

Ok, so, why am I annoyed? Those don't sound bad, really. And all things considered, they aren't. I mean, c'mon, I got out of litter box duty. But in my mind, it's the same thing as using my pregnancy as an excuse to avoid housework, work, or activity in general, which is actually more harmful to me as a pregnant woman than doing those things in the first place, but I digress.

The thing is, our poor cats are being accused of transferring Toxoplama gondii (the protozoan that causes Toxoplasmosis) when there is a very high likelihood that they aren't. They are automatically cast as the villains in our pregnancies.

While most of us know that Toxoplasmosis is extremely bad in pregnancy - it can lead to birth defects or loss of the pregnancy - most of us don't know the whole story. We look up what could happen to us if we are infected and hear that we can get it from cleaning out the litter box and that is enough for us to steer clear of our feline friends. This is in error, however, and our cats should not be feared by us while we are pregnant. Let me explain. The information that is most often skipped over is how Toxoplamosis works in cats. That will give us an idea of what our risk really looks like.

Toxoplasmosis occurs in almost all warm blooded animals. The thing that makes cats different is that when they contract it, they can pass it in their feces - no other mammal does this. And this is why cats are called the definitive host for Toxoplasmosis and the reason we fear their litter boxes. There is more to the story though.

Cats typically get Toxoplama gondii by ingesting raw meat - like when they hunt rodents and birds or by coming in contact with contaminated soil or water. About a week after exposure, they begin passing the infective oocysts (kinda like eggs) in their stool - which, I'll be honest, can occur in large numbers. They pass the infective oocysts for up to two weeks. That's it. After that, the develop an immunity. They don't contract it again, they don't spread it. Here's another piece of the puzzle - the oocyst has to be outside the body for at least 24 hours before it truly becomes infective - a litter box that is cleaned out daily poses little to no risk.

So, what does that mean? Our villainous cats are not the big culprits. If your cat has been a happy indoor cat for years, your risk is virtually nil. An outdoor cat is more likely to be suspect, but again, if they are an older cat, most likely, they had it when they were very young and most likely no longer pose a risk.

Here's something else that they don't tell you - the most common way humans contract Toxoplasmosis is from eating raw meat or drinking raw unpasteurized milk. Not from cats. It is more likely to be found in sheep, goat, and pig as opposed to beef or poultry, but it is still possible. Just one more reason to ensure all meats are cooked thoroughly and your milk has been pasteurized. Also, fruits and vegetables should be cleaned thoroughly as contaminated soil on these foods can pose a risk - don't assume if you grew it yourself you are safe since neighborhood strays like to use gardens as litter boxes.

Where your cat is concerned, you can protect him or her by keeping your cat inside and not allowing your cat to hunt. Also, don't feed your cat raw meats or milk. Doing this will protect you as well. If you do have a cat that goes outside, that is a good reason to avoid the litter box or wear gloves when cleaning it out. Even better, if you have an outdoor cat, blood work can be run to check your cat's exposure. Any strays or new adoptions should be regarded cautiously since you don't know their history and exposure possibilities.

Above all, don't forget basic hygiene. A good hand washing is always recommended after handling raw foods or cleaning the litter box.

So, go on. Don't be afraid to give your cat a hug.

For more information check out: American Veterinary Medical Association and Cornell Feline Health Center

On Car Seat Safety

Safety is the only reason you need.

Ok, let me explain. But, before I do, I'm sorry if I offend anyone with this post, but there are a few things I had to get off of my chest.

My little boy recently turned one. So did many of the babies in my mom group and several of the other babies I know have recently turned one or soon will. The topic of car seats seems to be coming up more and more frequently in general conversations I have had, on websites I've visited, and in various forum discussions. Needless to say, not from a single source, but many, I'm inundated with tons of comments and opinions about car seats, in particular, turning babies forward facing when they reach the age of one since many of them are 20 lbs by then, and this is the legal age at which they can be turned forward facing.

Like many other parenting topics this generates some very strong opinions, arguments, judgments (forgive me, because I'm contributing to this), and excuses. The thing that has really gotten me thinking lately on this particular topic, unlike many other parenting issues, is that car seat safety is not a topic that should generate this sort of discussion. I'm not saying we shouldn't talk about it, but what I'm saying is that unlike whether or not you vaccinate, bottle or breast feed, circumcise or leave in tact, attachment parent or practice Baby Wise, etc. the issue of car seat safety is black and white. Many other issues that generate such strong opinions are surrounded with facts, circumstantial evidence, and anecdotal tales that offer two or more sides in many cases that may or may not affect the child's future, their intelligence, their over all health, their mental stability, etc. Car seat safety? That's a whole different ball game.

I think when we hear the word "safety" or "safer", we understand, but the concept does not sink in. That factor is given as much thought as many others. I hear tons of other factors to consider when selecting car seats for young ones and whether or not to forward or rear face. Here are some:

My spouse wants to forward face our one-year-old.
My child prefers to face forward.
I want to be able to see my child and can't when they rear-face.
I was given a forward facing seat.
My child is too big to rear-face.
Harnesses are not available for larger/older kids.

I've seen all of these comments in more than one place, multiple times. These are things that you hear especially when an individual is faced with someone commenting that rear-facing is safer. And then an argument and not so nice words are exchanged repeatedly among strangers on a public forum. It gets ugly. And this is all despite the fact that the AAP has updated it's recommendations and now recommends rear-facing at least until the age of 2 and TxDPS (for those that live in Texas) has changed it's recommendations that children stay rear-facing as long as possible and to the upper limit allowed by the seat.

Here is the thing though (and here is where I get all judgey and get up on my soap box): Safety is the only factor that needs to be considered. No other reason has the right to be factored in when it goes against safety. Let's put it another way. When your child's life is on the line, why are there other considerations? It sounds drastic, but that is the reality. We are told that rear-facing is 5 times safer than forward facing. So, let's put that in terms that may sink in more: when forward facing, a child is 5 times more likely to die in a car accident than when rear-facing. Yes, it sounds harsh, but that is the cold hard truth. Automobile accidents are the number one cause of death in children. I don't know that they have statistics about proper vs. improper use of seats/harnesses, forward vs. rear-facing, harnessed vs. not harnessed, correct installations vs. faulty ones, etc. related with that little tidbit of information, but they do know that car accidents are the number one cause of death in children.

We are in our cars on a daily basis, often many times a day, and don't think about getting in an accident because most of the time we arrive at our destination safely. Think of all the near misses we encounter - someone cutting us off, another driver trying to come into our lane who didn't see us in their blind spot, the line of cars slamming on their brakes in the middle of the highway - it goes on and on. It only takes one time for it to be fatal to us or our child.

So please, really consider it. Too many parents have had to suffer the loss of a child. This is one argument that the proverbial in-laws shouldn't win (I apologize to all in-laws that may find offense - I do not mean to insinuate that all in-laws do not have the child's best interest at heart). Rear-face as long as possible, use the seat you have correctly, read all of the instructions that are included, etc. When you are faced with the fact that a hasty car seat decision could mean your child's life, safety is the first and most important factor to consider.

On Baby Sleep

Baby sleep is one confounding subject. There are all kinds of articles on it that will tell you how much sleep they are supposed to get, what ages you'd expect to have your baby take two naps a day and when they'll transition to one nap, how to get them to bed at night, etc. If there is one consistent thing I've found with all of the articles I've read, it's that not a single one seems to apply to my baby. I'll explain.

How much babies sleep. I've read several articles that say even though it seems counter intuitive, the more a baby sleeps, the more they will sleep. Ok, what? Basically, they tell you that consistent naps and early bed times ensure longer naps and longer night time sleep. While you may think that the earlier they go to bed, the earlier they awaken, this is not true. They theoretically will sleep longer if you put them to be earlier.

Many people will recommend you let the baby cry it out. As in, you put them to bed awake and if they are crying, let them cry to exhaustion until they finally go to sleep. This is actually not a recommended solution, even though many pediatricians still tell parents to do it. The problem with crying it out (and we're not talking a 5 minute spurt, we're talking 20-30 minutes or longer) is that as a baby cries are unanswered, the more they become stressed out, the more thy are learning that their needs will not be met. They are learning, however unconscious, that people can not be trusted and this will not only lead to an anxious child, but also one that has problems developing relationships with people. Cry it out can be done following the Ferber Method which involves several steps of reassuring the child that their cries are not unanswered and helping them to soothe themselves, knowing that their parents are close by if they are needed. I have a whole post on cry it out, if you want to check that out.

I have many friends that talk about their babies naps and how they can't do certain activities or have to postpone to a later time because that is the baby's nap time. I hear of moms whose babies have slept through the night from the time they put them to bed until they get up in the morning since an early age. I've read that a consistent sleep schedule is best for getting your child to nap and sleep.

And then there is my child.

Now, granted, it's not for lack of trying. Pretty early on, when my little one started staying awake longer, he developed his own sleep schedule. Since I've adopted a more attachment-parenting parenting style, I did not insist on a particular schedule and followed my munchkin's cues to identify when sleep times were. So, pretty early on, this was established by him. He'd wake up around 6:30 or 7 in the morning, get cranky and tired for a nap around 11:30 or 12, get cranky for a second nap around 2, and then he'd go to sleep at night starting at about 10:30p and slowly moving up to around 8:30p. At around 1 year of age, he started skipping the morning nap crankiness and would get tired around 1pm. So, he went from two naps to one. All of this seems perfectly normal.

So where is the problem? Well, it's that he doesn't always sleep. I've tried to put him down to naps before he is cranky (as the articles suggest) around the times he'd normally get tired, but he'd do nothing but sit up and scream. I refuse to let him cry it out, and even trying the Ferber method, his crying doesn't subside upon seeing me as it is supposed to. We have a regular bed time routine too (also as books and articles suggest) but that doesn't mean he always goes down on time. Even if I start the routine at the same time every night. It doesn't matter. He also still wakes up at night (at 13 mo.) which some people seem to think this should be done by much earlier. It is rough. I don't get a ton of sleep, but, at the same time, it is kind of my choice. I don't use cry it out. I haven't tried methods lined out in "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" which I've heard works well. I haven't seriously sought out assistance in getting my baby to sleep more.

But at the same time, I am not stressing out over it, does it bother me? Sure, but I'd rather let my baby sleep when he needs it. I figure it's less stress on him (and me) if I don't try to force him. When he is cranky and fighting sleep and really needs a nap, I take a nap with him. That solves that problem. The bottom line is, it works for us. Don't let people tell you that you need to change what you are doing unless it is causing problems, stressing you out, or putting your child's safety at risk. So what if my baby doesn't take two naps a day and sleep 12 hours at night? I'm not alone and my baby is happy. He is not over-tired and sleep deprived as many of the articles would have you believe. When he doesn't take regular naps he catches cat naps here and there to get the sleep he needs and then goes back to playing and exploring - his favorite activities.

On Baby Mobility - Pulling up

When babies start to pull up onto things, it can be exciting as well as one of the scariest things that ever occurs in the first year.

My little one discovered how to pull up the same day he started to crawl. Two milestones in one day isn't seen very often, but it happened with ours. My husband witnessed the pulling up long before I did and while he told me about it, seeing it yourself really makes it real. Not that I didn't believe him, but I guess I just had to see it.

That particular day, he was being especially cranky and I decided to put him down for a nap because the cranky was relative to his sleepiness. He fussed for a little bit and then quieted down and when I went to check on him, I found that he had pulled himself out of his sidecar co-sleeper and onto our bed. There he was, laying face first on our bed, legs still in his co-sleeper. Luckily, I was able to move him back to his bed without waking him up.

That type of pulling up can be really scary because there is the fall risk. Other pulling up comes with its fair share of falling though and that is why I think it is one of the hardest times as a parent in the first year.

When babies first learn to pull up, it is new and exciting, but unfortunately, they don't automatically know how to return to the floor. They will fall forward and backward. And not lightly, mind you. It appears as though they fall straight, like a board. And for some reason, they don't seem to have a sense of mobile things either. A chair or toy on wheels is just as good for pulling up as anything else, leading to more falls when it rolls away.

For these situations, I found it easiest to keep my little one off of the tile and just redirect him to the carpet. Our fireplace has a floor level hearth, so I originally wasn't too worried about it. I should have been. One day I saw him pull up on his bouncer seat and then take a face-plant directly into the side of the fire place. Luckily, he was okay. Seeing that and seeing how the hard hearth was still a potential site for injury lead me to line it with foam puzzle mats. These created a nice cushion should he decide to fall again, at least, if he hit the floor.

Before too long, they do figure out how to place their hands down to catch their fall or they will learn to sit to return to the floor. Before that though, it is very hard to see them fall, but it is part of their development. They have to figure out how to stop the fall and unfortunately, they can't learn to do that if they never fall. I'd suggest keeping them from real dangers like hard flooring until they get their bearings and learn to work their way back to the floor on their own.

On Nursing in Public

Nursing in public becomes a really hot topic, mostly with people that don't have kids or never breastfed. So many people will see a woman nursing in public and get really upset that she's flashing everyone. I can guarantee you, this is not her intention. She doesn't want her boob out there for everyone to see. Probably more likely, she's hoping that people will just look away and mind their own business. Either that or she is completely confident in what she is doing and does not care if people see her breast because it's more important to her that her baby gets fed.

World Breastfeeding Week just passed recently and there were many posts flying around Facebook and personal blogs about the wonders of breastfeeding. Nursing in public naturally came up in many of those places. One blog I read was from a woman who was pro-breastfeeding. She described three situations that she observed in a single day about women nursing in public. One mom bared all and tandem nursed her toddler and baby, another nursed her baby with her shirt positioned so it slid down over her if the baby unlatched, and the third mom fought the baby and the sweltering heat to cover up with a nursing cover creating a much larger scene than the other two.

Now, the way you choose to nurse in public is of course a personal choice. I can also tell you from experience that the more you do it, and the more people you know that do it, the more comfortable you will be. The first time I needed to feed the baby away from the home, I actually took him out to the car and sat in the back seat nursing him. That was the last time I did that. It was too hot and completely ridiculous for me to subject myself to that. Since then, I learned the skill of using a blanket as a nursing cover. Before long, the baby received a blanket that actually had Velcro on two corners which worked nicely as a cover as I could just attach it around my neck. That is until my baby decided that he didn't want to be covered.

In talking to many moms, there are certain things you need to know about nursing covers. First, the earlier you introduce them, the easier it is for your baby to accept nursing with something over their head. Second, almost all babies will eventually get to the point where they no longer tolerate the cover over their head. I have experienced this first hand. Often, you create more of a scene in trying to get the cover over the baby than you would if you just nursed them.

So, what's a woman to do? While I know that many moms aren't bothered by flashing the occasional stranger in the process of nursing a baby, I'm not one of them. I have nursed without much stress in my mom group, but then, since it started as a breastfeeding support group, having boobs out all of the time really becomes a non-issue. In other situations though, I've tried to find the happy medium of covering myself without too much of a scene - especially since the baby is less accepting of the cover. Nursing tops make nursing in public the easiest for access. They allow you to quickly latch on the baby without pulling up your whole shirt or practically undressing leading to less of a scene. I have found the easiest thing to do is use the baby's head to block yourself as you uncover your breast and latch the baby on. If the baby lets go, I've found that pulling the baby close to you usually will block an unsuspecting public from seeing you flash them. Again, the baby's head is blocking them from seeing anything. Occasionally I will get the baby in place and use a small cloth like a burp rag to cover up anything that may still be visible. This is usually less annoying to the nursing baby. Also, holding their free hand with your free hand is often effective for keeping the baby from pulling the cloth off. This does prevent you from continuing to eat or do whatever you were doing, but it does work.

I hope this helps you find a way to make it less visible. Remember though, it is better to accidentally flash someone than have a cranky, screaming, hungry baby. There is absolutely no reason to feel you have to excuse yourself or go hide some place that may be unhygienic, like a bathroom. One more thing, nursing in public is protected by law so never feel that you are in the wrong if you need to feed your baby. It may be awkward at first, but you'll get more and more used to it and ultimately be more comfortable. Believe me, no matter where you choose to feed your baby, you have the support of every nursing mother around you. They are all sending you a silent, "Congratulations!"

On Pets and Kids

Prior to having a baby, I worked for about 11 years in pet hospitals. I worked pretty much every position other than veterinarian and over the years I became obsessed with continuing education. I love to learn and the idea of getting free education and a meal was too good to pass up! What can I say, college does that to a person. When I graduated college, my desire to learn didn't go away and I not only attended continuing education seminars, but I sought out online opportunities and even attended a conference. While I focus a lot of my training on nutrition and behavior (as those are my main interests), I have also spent many, many hours learning about parasites in pets. The reason for this subject is because it is such a main focus in pet care that affects pretty much every pet and pet owner and there is a great need to understand the risks when working with and educating clients at the pet hospital.

People seem to take different approaches when it comes to pets and kids and especially pets and babies. Some people want the pets to stay away from the baby and have the kids wash their hands after touching or petting the dog or cat. Others, have the kids playing right on the floor with the animals and never think a thing of it. I'm of the second variety. I am the type to not get to stressed if I find the baby chewing on the dog toy, but that is because I know that there isn't anything on that dog toy that the baby couldn't get somewhere else and unless he's eating it, it isn't going to harm him.

There are, however, areas where there is valid concern with pets and the safety of children. Of course there are the pets that have behavior issues or those that are clumsy (like my lanky Labrador that has knocked over my baby more times than I can count); but it is the unseen problems that people don't always think about. For the most part, bacteria and viruses like particular species, so getting a cough or cold from the dog or cat is highly unlikely. Some skin infections can pass between people and pets like ringworm (caused by a fungus) or scabies (also known as sarcoptic mange caused by mange mites). If lesions show up on your pet and kids, take the pet to the vet and the kid to the pediatrician. Both the pet and the child will need to be treated simultaneously to clear the infection and prevent them from passing it back and forth.

Even more of a cause for concern than fungal or parasitic skin infection is that of intestinal parasite infection. The reason is that there is still a high prevalence of intestinal parasite infections in pets; and people, especially the young (babies and children), old, and immune compromised are at risk as well. While people don't usually get intestinal parasites, they are affected quite negatively by the larva of roundworms and hookworms. Most commonly seen are what are referred to as larval migrans. Eggs are passed in the feces of infected dogs and cats. Once the eggs hatch, the larva burrow into exposed skin and moves around the body. In dogs and cats, they work their way through the body and end up in the intestinal tract (sometimes after years of dormancy within muscles). In people these larva don't take the same path. They can stay just under the skin causing a severe itchy reactive area in the skin or they can work their way to the eye and cause blindness.

Many pets throughout the country are not on a parasite prevention all year long. It is very common in many areas to use heartworm or flea control just during the summer months, but this type of thinking is flawed. In areas where humans live, temperatures remain ambient enough for parasites to continue their life cycles. If it gets a little cold, they can go dormant and when it warms up, they can hatch and continue developing. Because of this, it is important to keep your pet on preventative all year long, every month. Most heartworm preventatives also protect against intestinal parasites (like hookworms and roundworms) so this is the best way to protect your kids from being exposed to them as well.

The main parasite that people think about when it comes to pets and people is Toxoplasmosis in the case of pregnancy and cat ownership. Unfortunately, there are a lot of rumors that get spread about this infection. Toxoplasmosis is a protozoan that cats can get from killing and eating wild rodents.When a cat contracts Toxoplasmosis, they typically will spread it for about three weeks and then they recover (they often never show symptoms). A cat that has had Toxoplasmosis becomes immune to it and will never contract or pass it again. Humans get it fecal/orally so if good hygiene isn't practiced when scooping the box, it can put them at risk. Pregnant women should especially be careful as a Toxoplasmosis infection can lead to major problems for the developing baby. Cats that have been indoor all of their lives are very unlikely to have ever been exposed. Cats that have been outdoor (or indoor/outdoor) all of their lives are very likely to have been exposed. If the cat's history is unknown, extra care should always be used especially since all cats do not show symptoms when they are passing the protozoan. Pregnant women are, however, more likely to get Toxoplasmosis from uncooked chicken so safe handling and cooking practices are just as important as when cleaning up after the cat.

Even if you don't have pets, they can still cause concern for your kids, especially when it comes to areas your kids may be outdoors. If possible, avoid the use of public sandboxes (stray cats love to use these as litter boxes and likely aren't kept on preventative) and other similar play areas that are not blocked or guarded from stray animals. If you have a sandbox at home, make sure to keep it covered when not in use (again, stray cats can jump the fence and leave little gifts).

For more information check out the following page for the Companion Animal Parasite Council

On the Kelty FC 3.0 (Product Review)

Yesterday we received our new hiking carrier for the baby, the Kelty FC 3.0. Now, I have to say I'm a bit unaware of the differences between a lot of different packs, but there were several things that made me select this particular one.

The Kelty FC 3.0 features a 5-point harness. This is well known to be the most secure type of harness for car seats. Another wonderful feature is the rain and sun shield. This is an extra hood you place over the baby's head so that they are protected from the elements. The sides of the hood are mesh so the baby can still see out and the hood is removable for times when it is not needed. The pack features several pockets acting as a backpack as well as a carrier where the hood can be stored as well as other necessities like water bottles and sunscreen. The pack also comes with a changing pad that has pockets for diapers and wipes. Also featured on the pack are side pockets located on the padded waist strap that are convenient for a cell phones and camera. The carrier will support a baby from 16-40 lbs and those that can fully support their head. The pack will support a total weight of 50 lbs. including child and cargo.

Aside from the many features, a friend reported that the Kelty pack they had, though an early model was extremely comfortable and she had just as much each wearing it as her husband did on their trip to the Grand Canyon and many national parks in the western US. They had rented a pack for part of their trip but found it to be significantly less comfortable than the Kelty.

So, sold on the features and the reported comfort, my husband ordered the pack. We tried it out as soon as it arrived and I fell in love with it as soon as I got it on my back. The main thing that impressed me with the pack is how well it supports the baby's weight. I found that while wearing it, I barely felt the weight of the baby at all. The pack is so well structured, that worn correctly, the child is supported by the pack and not the person carrying it. Now, I still have yet to try it hiking or on longer escapades, and I will add to the review when I get the chance, but for now, I have to say I'm extremely impressed.

On the Loss of Hotslings

Recent news tells us that Hotslings will be no more. Hotslings at least in my experience were the most recognizable brand of pouch slings available for baby-wearing. The company which started in 2003, gained in popularity and was the only sling I had ever seen in mainstream stores like Target and Babies R Us - both in stores and online.

I'm not sure why exactly they are going out of business. Their website tells only that they are going out of business and all sales are final. They had even recently developed and adjustable pouch sling that could be worn by multiple people rather than their traditional slings that fit to a single individual.

The good news is that if you are looking for a pouch style slings and are unable to find Hotslings in the future, there are other brands available. Probably the next most recognizable brand is Slinglings but there are others like Peanut Shell and Sprout Pouch.

I can't vouch for any of them aside from the Hotsling since that is the one I have and use quite frequently. I have seen and handled a Slingling and it seems very similar to a Hotsling in form and function. Either way, the most important thing is to follow the instructions for use to ensure your baby is safe and secure.

On Baby Shoes

I love going through the baby section of a shoe store or going through the shoe section of a baby store. It is amazing that feet are ever that little and there are so many cute designs and styles! At the same time, this also makes me very sad. I'll explain...

My husband and I tried to be reasonable about our baby purchases and limit ourselves to items we felt were absolutely necessary. We waited until after showers and such to start getting items for the baby when I was pregnant. We even managed to collect a lot of used baby items from family - toys, clothes, bouncer seats, high chair, etc. It made it wonderful and in the end there were only some small things and a few large items we purchased on our own.

Among the items we received either as gifts or as hand-me-downs, were pairs and pairs of shoes. Probably about a dozen or so in various sizes. It definitely made the list of items we didn't need to purchase, although, we wouldn't have even if we had not received a single pair. And all those pairs of shoes remained unworn and the new shoes stayed in perfect condition. I apologize to anyone who reads this that either passed on shoes or purchased new ones for our little one.

Why, then would we not have used the shoes we were given? Well, I'll tell you. My husband and I both operate on the theory that babies don't need shoes. Unlike other clothing items, as infants, there is no function or purpose for shoes when the child is carried everywhere. We felt it unnecessary to spend the money on shoes that he'd grow out of in a very short period of time when he didn't even have to have them. Even when they become mildly mobile, as in crawling, shoes don't really serve a purpose. To keep the baby's feet warm in the cold winter, a pair of socks and a blanket performed that job quite nicely. As a fashion statement or to finish off an outfit, there is a mild degree of use for shoes, but even this is not a great idea on a regular basis which I'll explain in a bit.

Many people will say that once a baby starts walking, that is when they will need shoes, and in general, that is what my husband and I agree upon as well, although, we go to an even further extreme. We think that even as walkers, shoes are only needed for outdoors. Any time he is home or indoors, shoes are not necessary.

You can ask any doctor or any expert, for proper walking and posture, you should be barefoot. And that's not just for babies - my yoga instructors are constantly talking about adult misalignment problems because of wearing shoes too much. It is however, vital for kids with growing feet. For proper development, kids should learn to walk barefoot and should continue to be barefoot as often as possible. Aside from that, even wearing shoes before walking can inhibit the growth and development of feet and making it harder for kids to learn to walk and develop properly. I've even heard that wearing shoes can affect them psychologically if they have too much difficulty from the shoes getting in the way as they are learning to walk. If researching, you will also learn that it is best for kids to never wear shoes that have been used. This is because shoes form to your feet. A growing child that wears shoes that have formed to another child's feet will have problems with their own development.

So, what does all this mean? Well for most situations, going barefoot is key. If the baby or toddler needs shoes for going outside, flexible soles that are comprised of leather will protect the feet, but also let your child feel the ground and learn to walk properly instead of inhibiting development. There are many brands out there that facilitate this and have commentary from podiatrists they've worked with to develop their shoes. Always get new shoes, especially if they are structured shoes as these are more likely to mold to feet.

It makes me feel slightly ungrateful to not use the shoes that our munchkin has received, and I do appreciate the generosity of others, but I'd rather he develop correctly. I've been searching for shoes that he can wear, but for now, he's only allowed limited walking outside and walking beautifully otherwise.

On Car Seats, Part 2

New discussions with friends have encouraged me to add to my previous post about car seats. There were several things I've learned in researching car seats and I continue to learn new things as my baby continues to grow. I'm adding to what I have learned so the following is a continuation of my previous post on car seats.

Some things I've learned:

- Many pads and positioners are available for use in car seats to help protect the baby or make them more comfortable. These become very popular baby items and gifts for new moms. Unfortunately this is a very bad idea. The reason is that when car seats are safety tested, they are tested with the padding that comes with the seat and is made to go with the seat. Additional pads can interfere with the design of the car seat and negate safety features that will protect the child. Because of this, any warranties that are available on car seats are voided if additional padding is used other than that which comes with the car seat.

- Heavy coats should not be used with car seats. Because heavy coats are thick, they inhibit the straps from tightening against the baby's body as closely as they should. In the event of an accident, the coat can become compressed making the straps ineffective at holding the baby in the correct safe position. There are several solutions to keep your baby warm, however. Fleece jackets are typically lighter and thinner but provide a great deal of warmth. Heavier coats may be used only if the coat is laid in the car seat, then the child placed in the seat. The harness can be tightened on the child, against the child and the coat secured on the outside of the straps and clips. Another safe option is a blanket that goes over the baby that is safely secured in the seat in lighter layers. Blankets that can be added in and around the baby in the seat run the same risk of secondary paddings as mentioned above and can void the warranty of the seat as well as put your child at additional risk.

- I mentioned previously the recommendations for rear-facing. The AAP has new recommendations and that is to keep children rear-facing until 2 years of age. 1 year is still the perceived age by many, but 2 is the new 1, so to speak. Pediatricians should now be recommending this to parents. The overall recommendation remains to keep them rear-facing as long as possible but for at least 2 years.

- A 5-point harness is the safest strap system, even for forward-facing kids. Always remember, the upper buckle should be secured over the sternum at arm pit level. The straps should be secured so that you can fit a finger under the buckle but you should not be able to pinch the straps. Straps on a rear-facing child should be at or below the shoulder level. Straps on a forward-facing child should be at or above the shoulder level.

- Height and weight are very important factors when it comes to fitting into a seat correctly. A child with a long torso can be too big for a particular seat even though they fit within the height allowances. The seat should extend at least 1" above the top of the child's head. Take weight allowances very seriously as this can compromise your child's safety if you child is even slightly over the top weight for the seat you have. If your seat is not rated to rear-face above 35 lbs and your 1 year old is over 35 lbs, you must turn your child around, and it is recommended that you find a seat that has higher rear-facing limits so your child can rear-face to the age of 2 or longer.

I hope this helps!

On Milestones

Repeat after me, "Every baby is different."

This is the mantra that I've seen and heard over and over again. And it is true, too. Every baby is different. As moms though, it is hard not to worry if your baby is progressing correctly. And while the pediatrician telling you that your baby is normal is mildly comforting, there is still that nagging when you know moms with other babies. I think it's natural.

Something else I've noticed is bragging that goes on sometimes. It may simply appear to be moms announcing milestones of their own babies, but it sometimes comes off as bragging and I'd bet you that it is mostly rooted in insecurity about the baby not developing on par with their parents expectations so things that are on or ahead of "schedule" are huge topics.

As if it weren't hard enough to know if your baby is hitting milestones when you'd expect, there is a great deal of variability in when you consider the milestone reached. I've noticed a disconnect between just me and my husband. And we are looking at the same kid. When my baby was babbling at four months of age and spurted out, "ma ma ma ma ma." My husband would consider that his first word. Really? To me that is nonsensical verbal practice. When he associates meaning to it, I'll consider it his first word. It is the same with rolling over. The first time he rolled over was one morning when he was laying on our bed and the weight of me or my husband caused a dip in the bed and made the baby roll over. I don't think it counts because he didn't do it on his own. Gravity was responsible for that one. And walking? I don't count the few steps he's taken as walking. When he does it on his own without being propped up, I'll say he's walking. But that's just me.

I wonder sometimes at what point other parents mark these milestones. My baby book reports that I said, "Da" as my first word at 6 months. I'm not so sure about that. I was probably babbling at the time. My 11 mo old doesn't associate "Da da da da" with his father, so I'm not counting it. It makes me consider when other people count those milestones and I wonder sometimes if some of it is reported before I'd consider it done. Perhaps that is why my munchkin seemed to crawl later than others - my requirement for crawling was completely up on hands and knees and moving forward.

I'm not saying I'm a paranoid mom about my little one's milestones, and I also try not to brag about them either. I'm not perfect though - of course I point out that he got his first tooth at 4 months. One of the things you have to understand though, is that every baby really is different and if you are ever feeling bad or wondering about your kid, remember, even the individual scales for milestones are wavering. I'm sure that when some kids seem way ahead, it's probably only in a few areas and in others they are "behind", but moms are less likely to brag about that. I think it's part of that mom programming that gets downloaded when we have a kid. Try to relax and enjoy the milestones - whenever they happen.

On Medicating the Baby

If you are lucky, you will never have to worry about this. If your kid is normal, you will. I heard one mom mention before that she had such difficulty medicating her baby that she had to resort to the child getting an injection instead. Poor munchkin! I guess she should have cooperated. Too bad she didn't understand it was for her own good.

I have been lucky. While I have had to give medications to my little one, he's always been good for it. As my husband pointed out, it's probably because I've spent so many years medicating dogs and cats. I realized he is right. It helps to have a background in dealing with patients that can't communicate verbally so you can tell them what you are doing and how you need them to cooperate.

I have found that giving the medication by syringe is pretty easy. This was the only tool I was given the first time I had to give my baby medications and found it to be quite effective. Simply draw up the medication, place the tip between the lips and inject small amounts at a time giving the baby enough time to taste and swallow. Small amounts are harder to spit out too and given slowly, even if the baby positions the tongue to deflect the medication back at you, it isn't coming fast enough to do so. The tip of a normal syringe should be more than small enough to push through even the tightest lip purse.

At one point, it was recommended I give the baby probiotics. This presented a little bit of a challenge since it was recommended that the powdered product be put in water or other non-carbonated beverages. For babies, it recommended that it get mixed with formula. These instructions were problematic because my avid nurser was never given formula and while he'd drink out of a sippy cup, would not reliably drink the entire contents of a cup. The other suggestion was to place it in apple sauce or other soft baby food. Well, again, we don't do baby food and my munchkin would rather feed himself than get food shoved in his mouth with a spoon. I decided, my best bet was to go back to my good ol' friend, the syringe. I filled up a syringe with water, mixed in the powder and lo and behold, it worked like a charm. Given slowly in small increments, he took it well and received the entire dose each time.

When he's older, maybe we'll switch to one of those measured sip cups, but for now, the syringe works like a charm.

EDIT: Ack! Turns out, he is now fighting me and I have to eat my words! I guess he decided they taste terrible. So, my new solution for meds that may not taste as good is as follows. I lay him on his back on the floor and extend my legs on either side of him. I pin his head into place using my feet (hey, it works) and use my left arm to pin his hands/arms down. With my right hand I can easily administer the medications using the syringe. The further back I get it the better because he will blow raspberries and spit it out if I have it too far forward. This is another reason to give small amounts at a time, raspberries are harder with less liquid!

Also, for his ear drops that I have to give him, it works well to lay him on his stomach across my lap and secure his head into position with the crook of my left arm. With the right hand, I administer the ear drops into his ear and massage the base of his ear to make sure the medication coats his ear canal before he sits up and it drips out. This is for the left ear, I'd probably just turn him around and switch hands if I had to do the same for the right ear.

Good luck to you!

On Cloth Diapering - On the Go

If ever there was something I wouldn't find myself doing it is cloth diapering on the go. Now, I use cloth diapers at home and I love them. Sure, I have to do laundry more often, but that is way better than taking the trash out all of the time. Aside from that, it really isn't much different than using disposables. When the baby is wet or dirty, you change the diaper. And while I know that I have two things to put on (diaper and cover) as opposed to a single all-in-one diaper/cover option, those are still available.

In any case, I did use disposables while out and about because I figured it was easier than carrying around a dirty diaper. I noticed however, that when I went to the grocery store, my yoga class, or my mommy group meetings that I wasn't always changing his diaper. I'd get home and leave him in the disposable until it was time to change him. I started feeling like it was a waste to change him to a disposable just because we were going out. This got me to thinking that maybe keeping him in a cloth diaper wasn't that difficult.

Under the direction of a fellow cloth diapering mom, I picked up a camping bag at a local store which is way cheaper than using a wet bag made specifically for diapers. With this bag, I can carry around wet or soiled diapers and keep the mess contained. The bag is also completely washable so if it gets dirty from the diapers, I can just throw it in the laundry with the diapers. When I purchased the bag, I chose a package of three bags so if one is dirty or in the laundry, I always have a back up.

This is great for my day-to-day life. I no longer worry about putting a new disposable diaper on him every time we leave just in case I have to change him. I just make sure to have diapers along with me. I do carry extra disposables in his diaper bag just in case I run out, but that hardly happens.

I am also going to add some more plain baby wash cloths to my collection to use as travel wipes, after all, I use cloth wipes at home too. These wipes will be carried dry and moistened in a sink one at a time. I'll carry them in a small cosmetic bag and put them in the wet bag with the diaper after use.

Now, at this point, I'm not brave enough to cloth diaper on trips. We'll see if my opinion changes over time. For now, if I'm carrying around a dirty diaper for a couple hours I figure it's not that big of a deal. I don't really want to do it for a couple of days. In any case, this works for me for now. I hope you are encouraged to try it yourself!

On Spit-up and Reflux

Today I got pulled out of my yoga class because my baby was "throwing up." I told the care taker that he spits up a lot and she proceeded to tell me that he did it 6 times. Um, ok... no big deal. They didn't seem to agree.

Now, for my baby, this really is nothing. He spits up. A lot. I'm not exaggerating and most of the other moms I know and know him would agree that he spits up more than pretty much every other baby they know. He used to spit up after every feeding. I even started nursing him on a single side at each feeding instead of offering him both because of how much he spit up. It helped, but only marginally. As he has gotten older, the spit up tends not to come immediately after nursing, but it still shows up. He'll spit up multiple times over the course of an hour or so after nursing. Sometimes it's projectile, sometimes it dribbles. Either way, it is a lot. I keep stacks of burp rags in various places around the house and can gather 2-3 burp rags from each area at the end of the day (that amounts to anywhere from 4-9 in a day). For my baby, this is normal - and yes, I did discuss it with the pediatrician.

Spitting up is normal for babies. There are several different reasons they do so. Some swallow air while drinking or nursing and when they burp that air up, up comes the spit up with it. Other babies eat too much and spit up what does not fit in the stomach.

Babies in general have an underdeveloped sphincter muscle at the top of their stomach. In adults and older kids, this muscle keeps food in the stomach, for babies, it hasn't matured, so food comes up much easier. As they get older, this muscle tightens and does a better job. Babies that are fed formula typically spit up less (unless they get a bubble under it which is common from bottle feeding) since formula is denser than breast milk and has the help of gravity to keep it in the stomach. The same goes for older babies once they start eating solids.

At seeing or hearing about how much my baby spits up, most people would be worried or concerned about reflux. Some have even suggested I have it checked out. Reflux in babies is like extreme heartburn in adults. I'm not sure of the mechanism that causes it and why some babies get it while others don't, but it is associated with excessive spitting up. In recent years, more information and more cases of reflux being diagnosed have lead many people to think it is more common than it is. In order to diagnose the condition, babies must go through a series of GI testing including an endoscopy, lab work, etc.

So, how do I know that my baby isn't suffering from reflux? Well, there are several key indicators. First, my baby is rather unphased by the episodes. He spits up and moves on. Ok, well, sometimes he tries to play with the spit up, but that's neither here nor there. Reflux is painful for babies. It can be painful when they are spitting up or when they are nursing/eating. Some experience it in both situations, for others it is one or the other. Some babies with reflux are soothed by nursing/eating. Many of them experience cholic like crying habits where it is hard to identify the reason they are crying. Another indicator that my baby does not have reflux is that he isn't suffering from malnutrition because of the amount he spits up. Now, it may look like he doesn't get anything, and believe me, it does appear that he must spit up his entire stomach's worth. He continues to grow however (staying significantly larger than the other babies in my mom group and well above the 80th percentile for his age) and he produces plenty of diapers - which I could use less, but I'm not really complaining.

While I'm not suggesting you ignore symptoms, I really think that many people exaggerate the commonality of reflux. Babies spit up. It's just one of the things they do. Even older babies like mine (10 mo). In his case it's a lot. As in, copious amounts. But that's ok. He's growing and happy. So for now, I'm not concerned. I may need to have a discussion with the care takers where I take yoga, though... it is not throwing up, it is spitting up and it's normal.

On Plugged Milk Ducts

Owie! Ok, so I'm not sure if every nursing mom experiences this at one point or another, but I thought I had escaped. That was until today.

It is pretty common knowledge the effects of plugged milk ducts left untreated. If for some reason you don't know, a plugged duct feels like a hard knot on your breast. If left untreated or not emptied, you run the risk of your breast tissue becoming infected and getting mastitis. This can be painful, lead to abscess, fever, etc. No fun. The good news is, mastitis typically affects the tissue around the milk duct and has no effect on the milk itself meaning you can still nurse, in fact, it will help you heal. The bad news is that nursing on an infected breast is super painful. So, to avoid issues, if you have a plugged duct, get it empty!

I'm guessing I caused myself to get a plugged duct, but it is a complicated sort of round about way and I really don't know if it could have been avoided. The good news is that I was able to empty it out. This is what happened:

My teething baby at nine months feels like he's got a mouthful of teeth. He has eight and that is plenty. For some reason, his latch has been off and oddly enough, it is only on one side that it doesn't seem quite right. I find myself having to detach him and let him latch on again multiple times. Unfortunately, he still seems to revert to a closed mouth, nipple only latch even when I readjust him. So, needless to say, my right side is rather sore and I'm back to using lanolin. I'm not giving up though, I'm going to continue to try to correct his latch on that side.

In any case, starting last night, my right side was particularly painful, so I decided I'd nurse only on the left side and pump off the right side. I did this several days ago and it worked well and gave my right side a bit of a break. This morning, however, after I pumped off the right side, I noticed a knot on the top inside of my right side. This was not the little knot that they demonstrated in my breastfeeding class. It felt as if I had a knot about the size of my baby's fist.

I went through the list of recommended solutions:

First, I tried to massage the area. It was a bit difficult and it just seemed to make it more sore. Before it was mildly tight, massaging it made it actually hurt.

Second, I nursed the baby, despite the pain, with his chin towards the plugged duct. Given the position, it wasn't the easiest. I did this by laying on the floor on my back. I placed the baby on his belly with his feet over my left shoulder (remember, the plugged duct was on the top inside of my right breast). He was positioned kinda upside down. He managed to latch ok with minimal pain (since his teeth were in a different spot than usual, after all, I don't typically nurse him upside down) but this didn't seem to help a ton. I did try massaging the duct as he nursed, but I'm not sure it had much effect. The baby wasn't all that hungry so he tried to crawl away after a few minutes.

Third, I tried to apply a warm compress. I heated a small towel in the microwave for about 30 seconds and applied it with light pressure. This kinda made it hurt more and the heat dissipated from the towel pretty rapidly. I tried to heat the towel for longer and that made it too hot. I applied the warm towel until it cooled about three times (I noticed the plugged duct in the morning and the three applications were an hour or so apart).

I was at a loss. I didn't know what else to try and it seemed that no matter what I did, I was causing more and more pain to myself. I was also beginning to panic as I do not really know the time period it takes for mastitis to develop if a duct is not emptied. I was about to call and ask my mother-in-law who is a lactation consultant (IBCLC) but she was probably at work at the time.

Finally, frustrated, I decided to try nursing on that side again, normally this time. Since it hurt so badly to nurse in a normal position, I pulled out a nipple shield in hopes that it would block some of the pain caused by his teeth resting on me. He doesn't really bite, it is more just the position his teeth fall and press in while he is suckling. Well, apparently, the silicone of the nipple shield is not the same texture as a real nipple and he bit down. Hard. I screamed, I cried, after all, my nipple was inside the shield! I can not describe the pain it caused. This of course, caused the baby to scream and cry. Luckily, he hadn't broken skin. When I felt brave enough again, I tried one more time (with clenched teeth) - without the shield.

I laid down on my side and laid the baby alongside me. He latched on and while it was a little painful, I did manage to get him positioned, after a couple of tries, in a manner that wasn't tear inducing. As he started to nurse, I massaged the duct towards him. Slowly, I felt the knot get smaller and less tight until I couldn't feel it any more. Success!

I'm not sure if this last thing was all I needed to do or if everything I tried throughout the day helped to loosen it up even though I didn't notice a change. All I know is that it worked and now everything feels normal again. The one thing additional thing I've heard suggested for plugged ducts that I did not try was taking a hot shower and massaging it. I'm just happy it worked out. If you find yourself in a similar situation, try it all until it works. That's the best advice I can give. If you are lucky, you won't ever have to worry about it, I hope you don't!

On Diaper Rash

Ah, the joys of motherhood extend all the way to caring for red irritated bums! Unfortunately, this is something that we probably all have experienced and anyone with babies on the way (or in our futures) will experience it at some point.

There seem to be a number of tales that people tell when it comes to diaper rash. Some people tell you that breastfed babies are less likely to experience it. Some say that cloth diapers make them more likely to get it. Some babies will get a rash based on what they eat when they are introduced to certain new foods that don't agree with them. Either way, none of this really matters (with the exception of the food thing because then you can either avoid that or put off future exposure until later). In the end (on the end, rear end that is) babies get rashes.

Diaper rashes can be mild red bumps to the more severe bleeding cracked skin. My baby has experienced both. (He's breastfed, cloth diapered, and exposure to new food didn't line up - just to throw that in there.) The cause can be simple irritation, constant moisture on the skin, allergic reaction, or infection. There are many creams, salves, and powders out there that you can use, but most importantly, when it is encountered, changing the diaper often and keeping the baby as dry as possible is the across the board recommendation.

My topical treatment of choice is Desitin creamy. It started because I received some tubes in gift sets at my baby showers, but I have found that it works really well and so I've continued to use it. Desitin is also what my pediatrician mentioned to use, though I don't know if that was a brand recommendation or a random name thrown out there like we use Kleenex or Coke. Either way, I have found that sufficient lathering with it has healed even the worst of his diaper rashes.

Other moms that I've spoken with have used various other products that they would swear by or recommend. My sister-in-law hails Budreaux's Butt Paste and wouldn't use anything else. This product from what I can tell has a fairly big following. Some of the other moms I talk to like to use natural products like Motherlove Diaper Rash & Thrush salve or California Baby Diaper Rash Cream. These products also get great reviews for effectiveness, though I don't have a ton of experience with them.

A few moms that I talk to also use cloth diapers and depending on which ones you use, certain diaper creams seem to be contraindicated. The creams or salves can prevent the diaper from absorbing the moisture and therefore, it decreases the effectiveness of the diapers. If you use cloth diapers, make sure to read the instructions when it comes to which products you should or should not use. I have not had issues with my terry diapers and the Desitin Creamy, but that may not be the case with everyone.

One more note: Baby powder is commonly found in many gift sets and whatnot for babies. The intention of such a product is to help absorb moisture in the diaper and keep the baby's skin dry and free from irritation of moisture and other diaper deposits. From what I've heard, it is not recommended for use especially with very young babies because it can become airborne and can be inhaled. Use with caution if you choose to use it.

Hope this helps!

On Laundry

Before my baby was born, a small bottle of Baby All appeared on the shelf in my laundry room. I think it was a gift from my in-laws, but I'm not really sure. What I do know is that it was used to wash all of the baby clothes before he arrived and gave them that fantastic baby smell that we all love. It did make me think though, is it really necessary?

A friend of mine had a baby about a year older than mine and I remember him telling me about the added cost of the expensive baby detergent. He said it was necessary because it is gentler on the skin. Advertisements for different baby specific detergents advertise fewer dyes and fragrances. My mom never used any special detergent, but then, they weren't available when I was a baby. So, I was a bit confused.

Another friend gave me the best advice, in my opinion. See if your baby is sensitive to the regular stuff first, then if you notice he is, buy the more expensive baby detergent. This worked out for me.

I use Tide, though I did hear from another fellow mom, that this is one of the milder ones out there. I haven't had any issues with breaking out with its use. I do make sure all of my laundry goes through and extra rinse cycle though. I'm not sure if this has any impact or not, but I do it anyway.

I'll typically wash the baby clothing, blankets, spit rags, etc. together on the hand wash cycle. Given that they are made for short periods of wear, I'm not sure how sturdy they stand up to heavier wash cycles, call me paranoid. I tend not to separate them out by color like I would with my own, but I haven't had issues with too many colors running. I have noticed sometimes that spit-up doesn't always rinse out the first time and occasionally I throw those items in for a second wash. I then dry on low. I wash all of my diapers separately (the details are in my "On Cloth Diapering" blog entry) on casual setting, they are terry cloth so they seem sturdier than some of the other fabrics. Occasionally they go through a second wash if they need to be treated with Clorox 2 (spot treat and let sit at least 5 minutes before washing), after which I do a second extra rinse cycle to make sure everything is rinsed out of them. The diapers I dry on medium.

Along with the Tide, I use a splash of vinegar in my wash cycles as it is great for odors and, so I've heard, helps protect colors and keep them from bleeding. For stains, including those on my cloth diapers, I use Clorox 2, quite liberally might I add. I typically avoid fabric softener on the baby laundry, mostly because the instructions on the diapers say not to (I think it affects absorbency) and I've heard it can be detrimental to fire resistancy they put on some children's clothing, like pajamas.

I have had no issues with rashes or irritated skin with this combination of products. I don't know if it is because of the products I have chosen to use or if it has more to do with my baby individually. Either way, it works, so I'm passing it along!

On Baby-wearing (updated December 2010)

Baby-wearing can be associated with several different mothering styles. Some may consider it "crunchy" or "granola" others may associate it with attachment parenting. No matter how you look at it, I call it convenient.

If you don't know, baby-wearing is basically a way of carrying around your baby in a type of carrier, typically made of fabric, that holds the baby in a hands-free manner against your body. It's kind of the modern papoose. I'm not sure if you can call it popular, but I think that the idea is gaining popularity among modern mamas.

I have a sling that I wear my baby in. He has done great in it, but I can probably attribute that to starting him in it when he was quite young. My sling, which is a Hot Sling, a type of pouch sling, provides variety in ways a baby can be carried based on age and level of development. When my baby was young, I held him in the cradle hold, basically, he was laying down in the sling. In this position, it was actually quite convenient to nurse him in the sling allowing me to work around the house, prepare meals, or do whatever. The sling works great to hold him securely against my body, which is ideal for newborns. Now, I carry my baby in the hip position, which he's been in since he was strong enough to hold his head up well and sit supported, and it is great because it provides him the security of being next to his mama, he's contained and usually calm, and he can still look around and "interact" with people. When we are out and about, it is great because I am completely hands free so I can shop or do whatever without having to juggle holding him and doing something else.

One situation which I didn't anticipate the benefit of the sling is actually in a gathering type setting. Let's say for example, you are at a social gathering of some sort where you may or may not know the people there very well. This is likely in situations like weddings or showers. It is nice to be able to carry your baby around but your arms may get tired. The sling, or other baby-wearing carrier, comes in handy in these situations. But the best benefit in these situations is that people can see and talk to or interact with your baby, but they are less likely to try to hold them than if you were simply carrying them. This way, you can stay a little protective of your baby without feeling like you are being mean or rude to those you are interacting or conversing with. To me, it is a great advantage.

I get tons of compliments and questions about my sling. I can't think of a time I've gone to the store or craft fair or social gathering without at least one person making a comment about liking the sling or asking if the baby likes it or asking if it saves my back. It is very apparent to me that it is easy to see the benefits that slings provide.

Baby-wearing provides many benefits to mama (or papa) and the baby. First and foremost, the baby is next to his or her parent. This is where babies are meant to be. Baby-wearing allows the baby to be close but still be able to interact with or observe the world around while feeling safe and secure and protected. Baby-wearing allows for hands-free baby carrying. No more worrying about the carrier. No need to fear leaving your baby on the shopping cart to grab some veggies (which can also run the risk of the carrier sliding off or falling off of the cart if it is not secured or locked into place). A baby-wearing shopper can also opt for the hand basket if only a few small items are being purchased because his or her hands are available to hold the basket in one hand and grab items with the other. Baby-wearing allows a fussy baby to move with his or her parent while chores are completed around the house. Many mamas can nurse their baby while baby-wearing very comfortably. Baby-wearing is less bulky and lighter than carrying a baby in a traditional carrier (no more waddling or constant shifting) allowing for longer trips/walks. And again, as I've mentioned previously, baby-wearing allows strangers to say, "Hi" and interact with the baby but are less likely to ask to hold the baby keeping the parent from having to make the decision about whether or not they want to pass of their baby to someone they don't know well or risk appearing rude.

There are several styles of baby-wearing apparatuses. Here are descriptions of a few:

Slings: Slings are worn distributing the baby's weight across the body with the strap on one shoulder. Several varieties are available.

A bag sling provides some structure for a young baby but does not have the versatility that some others may have. The baby is carried in a single cradle position. Be extremely careful with this style though, some of them were part of a recent recall due to infant deaths from positional asphyxiation (suffocation). These types are not usually associated with "baby-wearing" because the baby hangs in a bag rather than being up against the body of the person carrying them and therefore, some or all of the benefits of baby-wearing may be lost.

This is a Hot Sling. This style is called a pouch sling. The sling is a continuous "loop" around the body that is sewn securely. The baby may be held in a cradle position where he is lying down and tucked completely in the sling, a front carry position where he is slightly more upright (shown far right), or a hip carry where the baby is sitting up with the legs hanging out (shown left). The pouch sling is a fixed size and is typically sized for one wearer. A baby can easily be nursed in this type of carrier when in the cradle position.

A ring sling like this one is worn very much like a pouch sling. It is secured by two large durable rings that create tension when the end of the sling is threaded through. It also allows for the variety of positions that a pouch sling has. One additional benefit of a ring sling is that it can be adjusted to change sizes for the baby and the individual using it. This comes especially in handy when dad is much taller or larger than mom. A baby can easily be nursed in this type of carrier in the cradle position.



 

Wrap Carriers: Wrap carriers have less structure than slings. They are typically made with a large long cut of durable fabric with or without  a small amount of stretch. The fabric is wrapped around the baby in a number of configurations from front carry to cradle to back carry and more. Weight distribution is more balanced in this type of carrier which is a benefit if the baby is older or particularly large. This type of carrier can be worn by multiple individuals, as it is retied each time it is worn. A baby can easily be nursed in this type of carrier. Here is a picture of one type of wrap carrier.

Soft Structure Carriers: These carriers provide some structure but they are typically made of durable fabric with or without clasps or buckles to secure them. They are typically easily folded and washed. They are worn either on the front or back of the body. A carrier of this design that ties is called a mei tai. These carriers support the baby's weight over both shoulders and typically have a waist strap and occasionally will have a chest clip to secure the shoulder straps. Some varieties of these carriers (especially those widely available at retail stores) allow the baby to face outward, but use caution with these types of carriers: studies have shown that babies spinal and hip development is better protected when their weight is supported on their rump while they are carried for extended periods of time. If you prefer this style of carrier for your baby-wearing, choose one where the baby is seated on his rump with legs spread wide and knees above the  rump rather than supported in the crotch area. More often than not, you'll find the safest and most comfortable position for your baby is when their body faces yours.


Pack Carriers: Pack carriers have more structure and can be used long term for activities such as hiking, camping, or other outdoor activities. Carriers of this design provide some protection for the baby from falls if terrain is not level, but it will not protect from everything. Babies worn in these carriers are worn primarily on the back and usually are not considered to be "worn". While these carriers do provide some of the benefits of baby-wearing, others are lost. These types of carriers typically provide very good weight distribution to make longer periods of carrying more comfortable.

I hope this enlightens and informs. Make sure to read and follow all safety instructions for proper use and follow your instincts - if the baby doesn't seem safe and secure, he probably isn't. With that in mind, I'd highly suggest baby-wearing to any parents. I enjoy it as does my little one!

Added note: All of these pictures were taken from Google image search results. No copyright infringement was intended. If these pictures are not intended for free use, please contact me and I will gladly replace them. I'd suggest in that situation that the images be better protected and not able to be saved/downloaded to personal computers.

On Car Seats

The search for a car seat is very closely tied to our emotions as mothers. After all, it is your baby's safety we are talking about here. I must admit that when we got our first car seat, I didn't really know the difference between most of them and honestly, I still don't, but I do know a bit more and most importantly, I know where to look for information.

My husband I had picked out a user friendly travel system that worked well for us, and as I soon found out, was a very popular choice for many moms I knew. It makes you feel a little better. At 6 months of age, my baby was rapidly reaching a size that he was getting too big for his carrier/car seat and it was time to upgrade his seat. Since he was still young, we needed to choose a convertible for him and after much research and confusion and more research, I found one I liked and ordered it. We are now happily in our new seat and it is working well.

So, here are a few things I learned on the way to getting our new seat.

- www.car-seat.org is a great site to get input from lots of different moms. They also have some certified technicians on the site that can help you with questions you may have. You can even search for threads that talk about your specific type of car and what car seats work well.

- Most state requirements say to keep a baby rear facing at the least until 20lbs and 1 year of age. I read somewhere that 35lbs is the updated recommendation, but states still say 20lbs. Mostly though, the recommendation is as long as possible. Most convertible car seats go up to 35lbs rear-facing, the one I got is actually rated for up to 45lbs rear-facing which I think is the highest available. Most likely I'll have to turn him around when his legs get too long, but at least I can keep him rear-facing for an extended time.

- All car seats have to meet certain safety standards. You may be able to find individual testing scores from each of the manufacturers, but I couldn't find any place that compares the safety of different seats. I was able to find ease of use comparisons, but that is about it.

- Never ever, buy a used seat from someone you don't know. A car seat should never be used if it has been in an accident. Even if it shows no sign of wear or damage, it is considered unsafe for use after an accident and any warranties will be void. Unfortunately, your best option is just to buy new.

- Car seats come with expiration dates. Yep, that is something I didn't know. Most last 5-6 years, so check the paperwork with the seat. My new seat has an extended usage of 8 years. Again, this is a reason to buy new, used seats may be past their date.

- Always register the seat. That way the manufacturer can contact you in case of recalls or problems. This is so important. It is your kid's safety after all.

I hope this info helps! Good luck with your search!

On Cry-It-Out (CIO)

Cry it out is a common topic you hear in discussion with moms pretty frequently. It raises quite a bit of controversy too. For some, it is the only way to get some peace and quiet, for others it is neglect to let your child do it.

Growing up, I had always been indoctrinated with the concept that with kids, you can't just go to them every time they scream and cry. It will merely teach them that this type of behavior is acceptable, and even if you show displeasure, it still has the desired affect of giving the child attention. And this is true, to an extent. I will explain:

It is pretty much a well known fact that kids will try to get the attention of their parents. Kids don't always care if it is good or bad attention. They'll take it any way they can get it. Attention seeking behavior, in my opinion can be either on purpose or subconscious, but I think we all will do it, even as adults. Training a kid sometimes is like training a dog (you'd say the opposite if you had kids first, I had a dog first so for me, this is the order I choose). Positive reinforcement yields positive behaviors. Punishment is not always effective because it is often carried out inconsistently (enter shows like Super Nanny and Nanny 911). Attention is intangible and so when poor behavior attracts it, it is the same as giving a mouse a cookie, so to speak.

There is however, an age/developmental issue that people don't talk about. Probably because it is virtually impossible to pin point. What do I mean by that? Well, babies have no concept of what attention means. They simply have needs and as a baby, needs need to be met. Their only choice when it comes to communication is crying. They are telling their parents what they need. Yes, sometimes that includes attention and snuggling, but that is not always a bad thing. I've read in several places that in a baby that is left to cry (and I mean for an extended period of time), cortisol levels rise in the brain and can cause permanent psychological or physiological changes - such as an insecure person that lacks the ability to trust others. A baby whose needs are met when called for are more secure through their life.

So, what about all the questions of attention seeking behaviors and inability to be alone or self soothe? Well, that is where cry it out (CIO) come in as well as simple individual development.

I'll start with Cry It Out (CIO). When I was younger and of babysitting age, I believed that letting a cranky, fussing kid alone to figure out that their attention seeking behavior was not effective was the thing to do. Eventually, they'd realize it wasn't working and go to sleep on their own. I was told this by many a people and it seemed to make sense. This is not CIO, however, this is what most people think it is and they continue to do this. Now, there is a place and time, but this is not how it's done.

The official method of Cry It Out (CIO) means that the parent is actually teaching the baby to self soothe. When the baby is put down and starts crying, the parent goes through several steps that involve checking on the baby, letting the baby see them and feel secure that the parent  is close by but the baby is not picked up. The parent will then through multiple checks every so often while the baby is fussing check on the baby and ensure to be seen. The checks will lessen in frequency and the distance to the baby in the bed/crib will lengthen. Eventually, the child, knowing that mom or dad (or whoever) will come when called is secure and comfortable and will eventually fall asleep. This is the correct way to do CIO (more detailed information can be found online or in books. I am not an official teacher of this). The child is not simply left to cry to exhaustion.

So, even the official Cry It Out (CIO) method involves tending to the needs of the child, despite what many people believe. What about teaching the child to not fuss and scream just for the attention? Well, when CIO is practiced correctly, it does teach them this. If you don't know how to do CIO or you want to do your own method, the answer is easier, but more vague. Trust your instincts. You know your child better than anyone. You know if he or she is crying because he or she is hungry, needs a diaper change, or is tired. Maybe not at first, but you will come to realize that you actually have figured it out. Until then, be assured that you can't spoil a newborn. Being there to meet his or her every need is necessary with a newborn and this will help you to learn the source of the crying. The day will come when the baby is just tired and you will need to just let him or her cry for a short period of time, whether you use CIO or not. You will know when that is, because you have figured out, although in a very abstract manner, what your baby is telling you. Crying is necessary for communication and babies cry for a reason. Responding to that is not spoiling the child and teaching them to seek attention - it is meeting their needs and helping to ensure a secure, trusting future. Once again, it is all about trusting your instincts.

As far as my personal experience and my baby goes, I don't really use the official Cry It Out method because I haven't learned the specifics. I pretty much respond when he is crying. Sometimes he is just fussy and tired. I've been known to let him fuss for a little bit when putting him down. If at any point, it escalates to a screaming fit or goes on for more than 10-15 minutes, I usually will see to him and address what he needs. Sometimes he's just not ready to go down, sometimes he's hungry, sometimes it's a diaper issue. He doesn't always fuss when I put him down either. Sometimes he will go to sleep quietly and calmly. Sometimes he's already nursed to sleep when he is put down. Other times, he'll fuss for a little bit and then go to sleep on his own. My baby is able to self soothe back to sleep after awakening, so there are times when I can hear him moving around after he has gone down and if I leave him be after a couple of minutes, he'll go back to sleep. Other times when he awakens at night, he starts bawling - that is when I know he needs something. This is what has worked for us and I wish you all the luck with your little one.

On Starting Solids

So many opinions and ideas you could go crazy. I feel like I kinda did.

If ever there was a topic that you just have to go with your gut, this is one of them. I had some serious anxiety about starting solids with my little one. I had a whole list of questions to ask my pediatrician and I was reading a ton and asking my mom and a bunch of other moms what they did and I got lots of conflicting information, enough to drive you batty.

At first, I thought I was going to do what my mom did. I'm not sure at what age she started us on solids, but I know that the method was very regimented. First thing offered was rice cereal, then bland veggies, then sweet veggies, then fruits, then meats. Dairy was offered after the age of one and nuts after two. Each food got offered for 3-5 days before trying the next and the most common form was pureed, although, I didn't really get a sense of when to try other textures...

Other stuff I read starts with purees in any variety of foods, veggies, fruits, meats for babies around four months, and then when they are about six months they can try blends of foods and mushed foods that are not quite as fluid as purees.

Still other places I read would tell moms that there was no reason to feed baby cereals as they don't need to extra carbs and there is little nutritional value aside from carbohydrates. I've also heard from moms that rice is one of those foods that can cause constipation. Several places I read that the iron added to baby cereal can cause constipation.

One site I read, as well as listening to some moms that breastfed made sense to me and helped to clear up a lot of the confusion, but I was still anxious. This site was http://kellymom.com it is a site for breastfeeding and they go over all kinds of breastfeeding topics including starting solids. for babies that were breastfed.

The AAP (American Association of Pediatrics) recommends breastfeeding exclusively for six months before starting solids. I have no clue what that means for formula fed babies. After that, according to kellymom and a doctor that teaches breastfeeding information (as sent to me in a link from my lactation consultant mother-in-law), since iron stores start to deplete at six months, meats and other foods high in iron are good choices to give babies. They also say start with sweeter foods, since breast milk is sweet. One more thing they've mentioned, as well is that once babies are six months of age, they don't really need to be given pureed foods. They can handle thicker textures.

I've even heard from a lactation consultant (and a few other sources) that a baby's nutrition from 6 mo to a year is mostly from breast milk anyway and that foods are more about experiences and getting used to new textures and flavors (although, breast milk changes flavors with whatever the mom eats, so the baby should already be used to differing flavors). Aside from that, as long as they are introduced to something between 6 and 8 months, they shouldn't have problems with variety later in life.

So, all of this information made me really confused. I had no clue what to do. Did I go with the way my mom did it all those years ago? I still know people that feed this way. Do I follow some of the other places? I wasn't sure. I had planned on cooking my own baby food, pureeing it, freezing parts of it and going all out, but with all of the conflicting information, I started to question what I was going to do. I had a whole list of questions for my pediatrician when we went in for the baby's six month visit.

At our visit my pediatrician said one thing that made my anxiety melt away. He told me that the baby was doing well and if I continued to exclusively breastfeed until he saw him again at nine months that would be ok. He wasn't worried about the baby's nutrition.

So, I finally forgot it all. Ok, not everything, but the whole stress, and regimentation of feeding I could live without. I decided on a simple path. Give the baby whatever struck my fancy, be it something random or something we were eating. I had the ok to only breastfeed if that was my choice so whatever else he ate or didn't eat didn't matter. According to my pediatrician, the only things I needed to avoid were berries, citrus fruits, and egg whites until nine months; dairy until a year; nuts until much later. He wanted me to keep track of what things cause what diaper issues - in other words, give new foods one at a time so you can see how the kid reacts - and that was it.

My baby likes to play with the food and it wasn't until 7 months or so that he actually would put it to his mouth on his own. Some of it he eats, most of it ends up on the floor, on his tray, or on his clothing, but no matter. He's having fun and exploring. I don't bother much with feeding it to him on a spoon or anything. I figure he'll spit out the same amount if I put it in his mouth or he does. I also don't want to cause both of us stress by shoveling food in his mouth and making it a negative experience. I'll pop a piece in his mouth here or there, but otherwise, I leave it up to him.

So far at eight months he has tried the following foods: banana, chicken, sweet potatoes, ground turkey, broccoli, potatoes, rice, green peas, grapes, apple, and ground beef. There is, of course, a lot more to come in the near future and probably some things I've forgotten, but oh well. I'm not stressing. It's all about the experience.

In the end, it is what you are most comfortable with. All moms have to do what they think is right. My method may cause people to get upset or angry that I'm doing it wrong, but it is what I've decided, besides, I figure if at this point I had continued to not give him any food and he was still exclusively nursing, that's still ok according to the pediatrician - his health is not in jeopardy, so anything  he does get it just the cherry on the top. Good luck with your feeding experiences and read a lot, but do what feels right to you.