On Nursing in Public - Why Not Pump and Feed a Bottle?

I ran across an online discussion today about breastfeeding in public. Usually these discussions go one of two ways - they are dominated by those that are against it, or the overwhelming opinion is for it. I find it interesting how many of the most outspoken individuals against it are those that have not nursed or even those that don't have children. We still have a lot of misconceptions and misunderstandings when it comes to breastfeeding. I'd like to address one major point that is often an argument presented by people that are against nursing in public:

Why don't you just pump and feed expressed milk from a bottle?

This is a suggestion usually from someone that is for breastfeeding, but against doing so in public (some would argue that means they aren't exactly pro-breastfeeding if they have exceptions, but that's a discussion for another day). Typically, this is a suggestion from women that don't have children or men, but that is not always the case. The reality though, is that it is not always possible or practical to pump and give a bottle. Let's "discuss."

Convenience

If it's one thing that pumping and bottle feeding is, it is not convenient. There are a few moms out there that feed exclusively pumped milk and many that pump because they are away from their baby due to work or other obligations. They will tell you that pumping is not convenient. Most of them hate it. Pumping takes time. Time away from your family, time away from your baby, time away from other obligations. Carrying expressed milk is a hassle if it's not necessary, even more so than carrying formula. Formula is often dry so all you need is bottles, the powdered formula, and some clean water. When carrying expressed milk, you need cooler bags and carrying extra just in case the baby is extra hungry or you are out longer than planned takes up way more space. All this leads to longer prep time before you leave whether you are bringing previously pumped milk or pumping it fresh. It also means that while you are out and about, you have to fuss with a bottle - find some way to warm it if your baby won't drink it cold - and deal with a fussy baby during preparation. If it's one thing a mom doesn't need, it's more to deal with when out with kids (or even at home). By choosing to breastfeed instead, it's a matter of lift the shirt and latch on. Little fuss, little hassle.

Pump Response

Here is something that seems to get passed over and may come as a surprise: not all women respond well to a pump. Our breasts are designed to express milk into a baby's mouth with a particular suckling pattern. Did you know there are varying suckling patterns? Yep! Certain suckling patterns send a signal to the mom's body to let down the milk so it flows for the baby. Our bodies are not biologically adapted to respond to artificial, electrically driven suction. While pumps attempt to mimic the suckling pattern of a baby, no pump does as well as a baby does. That means some women get little more than a drop when pumping. Even among women that do respond to a pump, the average amount pumped is between 1/2 and 2 oz. for both breasts combined after a 20-30 minute pumping session. And that's assuming the mom has a good quality double pump. When you take into consideration the fact that many babies take 3 oz. per bottle, that means that some moms that respond properly to a pump may need to spend 3 hours pumping for one bottle. Let's revisit that convenience factor. Not everyone has 3 hours to spend pumping for a single outing. And for women that don't respond at all, they don't have that option available to them. Much better to leave the pump alone (assuming the mom even has one) and just nurse the baby. Babies are far more efficient than a pump and can pull out more milk in far less time. Tons of moms can't get a drop from a pump - even moms with oversupply - but have no problem nursing their babies.

Supply and Demand

Let's take a look at the mechanism of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is based on a basic supply and demand principle. The more that is drawn out by nursing, the more the body will provide. Two problems can exist when pumping which makes pumping and giving bottles in public problematic. The first is that as discussed before, pumping does not pull out as much milk as nursing. That means the body is receiving a feedback not to produce as much as before because not as much is drawn out. This can greatly affect supply causing a decrease and lead to further issues breastfeeding. In addition, because of this supply and demand mechanism, it is recommended that a mom pump whenever the baby would normally be nursing if she is away from the baby. So, if it is time to feed and the baby is given a bottle, the mom should be pumping to be pulling out the milk that the baby otherwise would be pulling out to help maintain supply. I don't know about you, but it doesn't make sense to drag a pump with you everywhere you go so you can give your baby a bottle and pump at the same time. That just isn't practical. However, to maintain supply, that is what you need to do. Working moms typically need to pump multiple times a day (every 3-4 hours or so) to maintain supply while they are away from their baby. Even with pumping that frequently (which really isn't enough compared to how frequently some babies nurse, and every 3-4 hours is more than many moms are allowed) many working moms struggle to maintain their supply because the pump pulls out less than the baby would so their bodies tell them to cut down production. Allowing the baby to nurse on demand is the best way to maintain supply. That's not to say that it can't be done - many moms do it, but it's extremely difficult and certainly not worth the risk to supply just so you can give a bottle in public.

Nutritional Content

The claim has been made that expressed milk is the same as they get when nursing, so by pumping and providing a bottle, they are still getting the best thing from mom. A little known fact about nursing is that milk changes as the baby grows and develops. There is a mechanism in moms that responds to the baby's saliva and it alters her milk to suit the baby's needs at the current state of development. Exclusively pumped milk is not the same as milk consumed via nursing. Milk received when nursing is tailored to individual needs. Milk produced when a baby is a newborn is different than milk produced for a 10 month old, and it is the baby's development that indicates what they need, not the duration of nursing. This is why on the feeding hierarchy, nursing directly from mom is preferred to receiving expressed milk from mom. Now, technically, a few feedings of expressed milk isn't going to make a huge difference and it certainly is far better nutritionally than alternatives, however, it is important to know that what is in the bottle is not necessarily the same as what is received at the breast.

Nipple Confusion

Nipple confusion is a big problem when giving bottles. While some people will deny this even occurs, they are completely mistaken. When a baby nurses from the breast, they suckle with a specific pattern. Quick suckling will generate a let down, causing the milk to flow. After this, they switch to longer more forceful suckling to draw out the milk. When given a bottle, all they need to do is compress the artificial nipple and the milk flows freely and quickly. Sometimes, depending on the nipple, even that is more work than is required. What happens as a result is that the baby learns that they don't need to suckle as hard, nor do they even have the same latch as when they are suckling a the breast. There is little to no work required from the bottle and the milk is readily available. After learning that this instant source of milk is available, many babies, when returned to the breast will get frustrated. They don't want to work for the milk that they can get from mom because the artificial nipple is so much easier, thus, they form a preference for the bottle. The "confusion" part comes in when they don't understand the differences in latch. Latching on to the breast is much more specific and a proper latch is necessary for effective and efficient breastfeeding. Because babies simply suck on the bottle, they don't form the same latch necessary for breastfeeding and they get confused as to which they are supposed to do. They forget how to latch on to mom. For some babies, all it takes is one bottle to create this problem. And as we already discussed, the less the baby nurses at the breast, the less milk will be produced.

Overeating and Obesity

It is a well known fact that not breastfeeding can lead to obesity. This is in part due to the higher calorie content of breastmilk replacements. The other part of the equation is bottle feeding. Because milk is consumed so quickly when bottle feeding, babies can have the tendency to over eat. The milk comes so quickly that they stuff their stomach before their body signals their brain that they are full. It happens to adults too, that is why we aren't supposed to eat quickly. For a baby though, the problem is bigger than that, a
s they stuff themselves, their stomach expands and stretches. If it is constantly being expanded by too much milk, they will become accustomed to that feeling and the more it stretches, the more they will need to fill it. This means they take in far more than they would if they were nursing. Because nursing takes longer, babies learn to self-regulate and don't overeat. Bottle fed babies don't have this same advantage. They take what is given and what flows freely. That means that even babies fed breastmilk in a bottle are at risk of overeating and losing their ability to self-regulate their food intake which can lead to problems later in life.

So, if asked why not pump and give milk in a bottle, I have a whole list of reasons I'm willing to share. It's not convenient, it's not possible for some women,  it can affect supply, it is not as nutritionally sound, it can lead to nipple confusion, and bottle feeding can lead to overeating. It really isn't as easy as many people have been led to believe. I hope that more people can come to a better understanding of why it is not a practical option and begin understanding why breastfeeding is so important and should be welcomed in public, not just tolerated.

Do you have any additional reasons not to pump and give a bottle? Let me know in the comments!

On Cooking for Kids - Homemade Fruit Roll-ups/Fruit Leather

These were blackberry and banana fruit rolls. They looked
much better than they tasted, possibly because I'm not a fan
of super ripe bananas and the ones I used were pretty brown.
The kiddos didn't like them much either.

When I first was introduced to fruit leather, I was really confused. It sounded weird. Then I came to realize that it's basically strips of dehydrated fruit and other ingredients made as a healthy alternative to artificial fruit snacks like fruit rolls and other treats that have very little actual fruit in them. Some moms I knew even made their own fruit leather. I was fascinated and as someone that typically has treats in the car, purse, and/or diaper bag for my kiddos, I was really interested in another healthy option that didn't require an ice pack. I hate carrying around fruit, cheese, and other fresh snacks because of the requirement for refrigeration. I don't want to forget something that would spoil in the diaper bag if I happened to leave it in the car - not to mention the fact that I cram my little diaper bag full so to carry and ice pack and other snacks, I'd often have to carry another bag - who wants to do that?

I began looking into making these fruit treats, but was disappointed to find that they required a dehydrator which I did not have. I continued looking for recipes and found that they could be made with some success in the oven. Not mine, apparently. I'd like to offer encouragement to those that don't have dehydrators, but I'm not a success story in that respect. My oven goes to a minimum temp of 170 which is not low enough to dehydrate the fruit without burning ends and leaving the middle soggy. Keeping the door open or cracked to minimize the temp is not only a waste of energy and a good way to make an A/C pointless, but it's also a hazard to little ones when you have to keep it going for 10-12 hours. Not to mention tying up the oven that long. I had a few failed attempts at trying to regulate the temperature to keep it low, turning the oven on and off, opening the door frequently, etc. It didn't end well.

I got a dehydrator. Not specifically for this, but it was one of many reasons (along with setting dill on fire in the microwave while trying to dry it, but that's another story). I'm so happy about this purchase and now I make fruit leather on a regular basis. I've experimented with a lot of different kinds and I have my favorite methods, so here's some more insight on what I've made and how I've done it:

Strawberries & Cherries
- These can be done raw and whole. I've used fresh strawberries as well as thawed, previously frozen strawberries. I've only used fresh cherries, but I'd guess results would be similar with thawed, previously frozen cherries as well. 1 lb of fruit puréed in the blender with about 2-4 Tbsp of honey makes a perfect mixture. The honey is optional, of course, but sometimes if the fruit isn't fully ripe and sweet, it needs a bit of enhancement

Blackberries & Raspberries
- These can also be done raw and I've used both fresh and thawed, previously frozen berries. It's best to strain out the seeds from the puréed fruit when you use these and similar fruits. The seeds are edible, of course, but it does a number on texture. Even if you have a high powered super blender that chops the seeds, you'll still end up with a gritty texture, so I'd still recommend straining. 12 oz of fruit & 2-4 Tbsp of honey

Watermelon
- This one was mostly experimental, but turned out great. After removing seeds, purée the watermelon and strain off the liquid. The fruit leather is then made from the remaining pulp. Don't worry, there is still plenty of flavor. Don't discard the juice, it makes for a nice refreshing drink. I'm not sure on measurements on this, I just filled my blender with chopped watermelon pieces, strained, and added some honey.

Grapes
- Seedless grapes make this a lot easier. I cooked the grapes on the stove on low heat with a little bit of water until they started popping like cranberries and then put them whole in the blender. I then put them back on the stove on low heat and cooked down some more. I've only done this with red grapes, but I'm sure any variety would work. Once the grapes are thickened, you can set them up to dehydrate. 1 lb of fruit 2-4 Tbsp honey on this as well.

Apples & Cranberries
- For these, I set up my homemade sauces. I make unsweetened apple sauce from fresh apples (cook peeled apples with a small amount of water on the stove on low heat, purée once mushy to give a smooth texture), so for apple fruit leather, I just use that and sprinkle on cinnamon and sugar. I had made an excess of cranberry sauce from fresh cranberries for Thanksgiving last year and just used the sauce as-is for fruit leather - worked wonderfully.

I'm wanting to experiment with more fruit, but it will come as time goes on. I'll keep updating this blog with new ideas that have worked.

Ok, so, step by step:

Prepare fruit as described above, filling blender and purée.

Strain if necessary and blend again adding honey (or other sweetener of choice if any). You can see I'm really precise about measuring my honey.

The result after cooking and puréeing or just puréeing should be a relatively smooth liquid. If it is not smooth, blend for longer. If it is too runny, like in the case of watermelon, you may need to strain off some excess liquid so it doesn't run everywhere on your tray.

So, once you have your liquefied fruit mix, pour it out onto your dehydrator sheet. I like to oil mine because my sheets are not non-stick, and believe me, it will stick. Use your favorite oil or non-stick spray. Don't go overboard, you don't want the resultant fruit leather to be greasy.

I prefer not to spread it out too much because it will get significantly thinner as it dehydrates. Thicker pools will take longer, but result in thicker fruit strips, so this is what I prefer. In the picture below, it is spread out much more than I like and you can see it starting to creep out of the holes on the edge of the tray. That equals a big mess.

The temp setting may vary, but I like to do mine around 130 degrees. I do check on it from time to time and lower the temp if the edges are dehydrating too quickly or there are "cracks" developing. Alternately, I will increase the temp if it's going too slowly. The whole process can take 10-15 hours depending on the temp, fruit, and moisture content. In the picture below, you can see a "crack" in the upper left corner of the finished fruit. This is because it dehydrated unevenly. If your heat is too high, this can happen, so if you see it, you can cut back the temp. It doesn't ruin it, but it may not look as pretty and cut up as neatly, so it's entirely up to you.

Once the fruit is done, I peel it off the sheets and cut into 1 1/2 - 2 in strips that are about 3 - 4 in long depending on how big the whole fruit piece is. I like to use a pizza cutter for ease. You can cut them whatever size you like. I used to cut them to about fruit roll-up size and roll them, but I've been doing strips more lately because it's easier. And they last longer since the kids aren't eating such big pieces at a time.

And for a pretty display, you can roll them up and show them off.

I hope this helps if you are ever interested in making some of your own! Once you get the hang of it, you'll be able to make them easily and quickly. Strawberry are by far the most common ones I make, but I enjoy trying new things. It's also a great way to prolong the life of certain fruits that aren't getting consumed quickly enough.

Have you made fruit leather? What fruits and combos have you made?

On Choosing Battles and Boycotting Formula Companies

I was recently reading a post on a natural mama Facebook page about boycotts and was reminded of a huge "battle" currently going on in regards to a certain formula company. There are many boycotting the company and all of its products, not just formula related, in an attempt to make an impact.

Here's the deal. Said company apparently has the unsavory practice promoting their formula in third world countries. As a result of marketing, and possibly incentives for health care workers, moms are convinced that formula is needed for their babies and they forego breastfeeding. Because of unclean water in many of these villages, the mixed formula becomes dangerous for the babies to consume which leads to illness and death. Another problem with advertising that convinces that formula is a superior baby feeding method is that poor families feel obligated to buy and feed said formula in an attempt to do what's best for their baby but at the detriment to their family income leaving little money for other needs like food, clothing, etc. for the rest of their family members. The general belief is that by boycotting the company, voices will be heard and formula companies will be forced to pull out of these countries, or at least adjust their advertising and incentives programs so that moms make the decision to breastfeed instead. Bad company gone, breastfeeding increased. Makes sense, right?

In my opinion, not really.

You see, decreasing purchases in the US isn't likely to do a whole lot, especially in third world countries. The sales in those locations won't falter by decreases in revenue in the States. If revenue stays the same in those locations, the company will enhance efforts to increase sales. If revenue decreases in those locations, efforts to increase sales will increase. Either way, if the market is there, marketing will continue and sales will continue. That's just business. Is it unfortunate? Sure. Are those moms being duped? Absolutely. Is there a chance that they and their family will suffer as a result? You bet.

The same happens in the states. Consumers believe that they are receiving a superior product. They may even believe that it's better than human milk or at the very least, just as good. Many moms are convinced that they have low supply or don't make enough for a whole slew of reasons so they turn to formula. In the US, there is a taboo against breastfeeding. This may or may not exist in third world countries. Of course, in most places in the US, although tap water may not be ideal, at least it's a whole lot safer than what may be found in third world countries that ends up leading to illnesses and death. Here's the thing though, it's not the formula company's fault.

What?!?!?!?!

Hear me out. As a business, it's in their own best interest to make a quality product to promote future and repeat sales. It's also in their own best interest to market their product effectively to promote new sales. That's business, and that's what they are doing. Are their prices too high? Possibly, but if sales continue, it's in the best interest of the business to keep them there or raise them. Are they making moms believe that their product is ideal for babies? Of course, that's effective marketing. Are they getting their products and advertising into doctors offices who end up promoting either directly or indirectly their products? Absolutely, it's an effective marketing campaign and it promotes sales. That's good business. Is it moral? No, but that isn't their focus, sales are.

I'm not endorsing the company/companies. I'm simply saying that as a business, they are doing their job to make goods, earn money for those goods, and pay their employees and production costs.

The problem in the third world countries concerning the lack of breastfeeding in lieu of feeding formula they can't afford (that may be dangerous because of the water) is not the formula companies fault. The problem is the same problem that affects breastfeeding rates in first world countries. Lack of education.

Moms need to learn how to breastfeed. They need to see it. They need to know why nature's system is superior and how it works. They need to know risks associated with formula feeding and the health and development issues that can be secondary to feeding formula. And all of this education needs to be available to them and louder than the marketing of the formula companies.

Just like here in the states, those moms are booby-trapped.

Instead of getting irate and emphatic about boycotting companies, consider that. How about instead of the ultimate form of inactivism, (because really, boycotting like this is doing nothing but not spending money), you spend money to donate to and get involved in programs that help educate and encourage moms in third world countries? How about teaching these moms about hygiene and health, including how to make their water safe for drinking for their whole family, and teaching them that breastfeeding is their baby's best chance in their circumstances. This is how you do something about increasing breastfeeding and decreasing deaths due to unsafe water being mixed with formula. Teaching them that breastfeeding is healthy and ideal for their babies will save their family the precious funds they've been spending on a product they think will keep their baby healthy and well. Organizations do exist. Get involved. Start your own organization or join and support another. That is how we really can make a positive impact.

On "Kid Food"

Hubs and I went to a wedding recently and I was smacked right in the face with a horrific reality. One of the servers for the reception came up to me and told me about the kids plate they had and wondered if I wanted one for my 17 mo. old. She described chicken strips, french fries, and a strawberry and asked if it was too much for him. I told her that he didn't need it at all and that he'd eat off of my plate and then for some unknown reason the escaped me at first, I was smacked with the realization that that was what they would present my three year old as well. I started fuming. Silently, though. I didn't want to cause a scene and I was remorseful that I didn't stop the server before she left and requested that my three year old get a different plate. I begrudgingly sat there next to my child who munched happily on his french fries while my gut was churning and my 17 mo. old begged me to pass along some fries, which I did, but just a few to hold him over until the "adult meals" were served.

I'm wondering if I'm alone here. Certainly not among the group of moms that I hang with on a regular basis, but I'm really wondering if we are in the minority. Why is it that people think that kids have to eat fried finger foods. I mean, seriously, look at this kid plate. Two chicken strips - breaded and fried - huge helping of french fries, and one strawberry. The only healthy item on that plate was the strawberry. Kudos to my kid for eating that first. Despite my attempts to get my kiddo to sample my salad and then my spinach stuffed chicken, he happily ate his helping of deep fried, fattening, artery clogging "food." Well, yeah, of course he prefers that, but had he been presented a plate with actually food on it, he'd eat that too. Is it really too much to ask for one of the adult dinners in kid-sized portions? There were three entrees offered, one fish, one steak, and one chicken. All the plates had mashed potatoes, asparagus, carrots, and a slice of zucchini. How on earth is that such a horrible thing? I consider carrots very kid friendly. Mashed potatoes are too. Ok, yeah, the mashed potatoes are mostly starch, but they had the skins and they weren't deep fried, so I'll take that over the fries for my kid.

The same issue is found on kids menus at restaurants. Nuggets, fries, mac 'n' cheese... Ugh! It really is sickening. In a country where obesity is an epidemic, we aren't doing our kids any favors. I hate the concept of "kid food." Sure, they like it. Sure, they prefer it over many healthier options. That being said, if we start them out right, with a variety of foods, they will eat a variety of foods. We can't feed into anxieties of whether or not they might like certain things. They'll pick up on that. For the most part, we control the food. That means give them what is good for them. If they don't eat it, fine, but don't give them a cookie instead. Kids will learn that they need to eat what is presented. My kids go through phases where they won't eat certain veggies, and that's fine. That doesn't mean I stop serving those veggies. Eventually, they may start eating them again. I want them to have that exposure, so it's normal.

Certainly, this one meal isn't the end of the world. My kids have had fries before and likely will in the future. I just wish I would have known. I wish I would have asked, or chosen one of the adult platters for my three year old. I didn't think about it, and that was my fault. I just really wish we could see a change in the world when it comes to this. Veggies don't need to be hidden, fried foods don't need to be the norm. And for heaven's sake, make the kids menu kid sized portions, not junk food. Please?

On Breastfeeding Awareness - The Big Latch On

So today was no ordinary Saturday. Ok, it was a little. Rather than head to our favorite mommy/baby consignment shop for our normal Saturday meeting, we headed there for this year's Big Latch On. The Big Latch On is an event sponsored by Le Leche League to organize record numbers of moms all around the country to breastfeed simultaneously to raise awareness of , well, breastfeeding. While not reaching out for the Guinness record, the aim is to collect as many moms as possible to participate. It just turned out convenient for me since I was going there anyway, but I probably would have attended at another time and place if that's where it was being organized since I tend toward  "lactivist" habits and beliefs.

Our little gathering wasn't impressive by any means, but that's ok. We had 15 moms in attendance. The oldest nursling there was about 20 months. I'm not sure how young the youngest was. It still turned out to be a nice little gathering. We even had a reporter from a local newspaper to come and take a pictures of all the participants (while not necessarily in the act, but that's ok).

This event was a great little one for me to participate in. I'm not they type to crave the attention of other "lactivist" activities that may be louder or draw more attention from on-lookers (ok, maybe, but it really does depend on the situation).

On Milk Donation

I donated my placenta, why not my milk? Ok, seriously though, I really wish this is something that had occurred to me when I had my first son. I really had no reason not to...

If you are not familiar with milk donation, I'll give a brief overview. There are several milk banks throughout the country, though there aren't even enough to have one per state. There are 12 milk banks that are members of HMBANA, or Human Milk Banking Association of North America. One of those banks is in Canada, the rest in the US. Milk banks work kinda like blood banks. They accept breast milk, pasteurize and test it, and then it gets packaged and stored where it is prescribed to babies in need. The babies that get preference are premature and ill babies primarily those in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit). A prescription can be obtained for babies from pediatricians, however, this is not easy or cheap since there is such a high demand. Even though the American Academy of Pediatrics says that breast milk from another mother (if the mom can't nurse or pump her own milk for her baby) is a better feeding/nutrition option for babies than formula, most women are unable to obtain donated milk because there is such a low supply and a very high demand. The rate of preterm births is rising, but the number of donors is not, so the demand is even higher.

Milk donation is nothing new to me. Well, new for me actually doing it, but the concept is not new. I've known since I was a kid that my mom donated breast milk. Way back 35 years ago or so, my mom was asked to donate milk. She expressed and donated when two of my older sisters were babies (at separate times, they aren't twins). Back then, she said it worked kinda opposite of what we think of the milk man doing. In her case, they picked up the full bottles and dropped off the empty ones. My mom actually hand expressed her milk, something I can't imagine doing and I'm glad I don't have to, but apparently back then, hand expressing was much more efficient that using her manual pump that had a very small collection chamber.

In looking at the nursing relationship I had with my first son, I realized that I might have had some oversupply. He spit up copious amounts (which I'm sure you've read about if you've been following my blog) but still managed to be growing at the top of the charts. I also was able to pump a decent amount in one sitting and didn't realize until much later that most people typically pump less than I had been yielding. I decided that next time around, I would look into donating since as long as you keep pumping, your body will make more milk. It's just a matter of maximizing production.

When I got pregnant with my second, I started looking up information on donating milk and contacted the closest milk bank to me to find out what I would need to do. I had to wait until the baby was born - they wanted to make sure a good breastfeeding relationship had been established. After that point, I was able to start the screening process.

I was telling a friend the other day that I can understand to a certain extent why there aren't a ton of people that donate. It can be difficult. There are strict habits that need to be maintained. Not only do you have to pass the screening process (phone interview and questionnaire packet complete with forms to be signed by your OB as well as the baby's pediatrician) and blood work (which thankfully, they pay for); but you also have to adhere to strict rules about certain foods (or food components) to avoid - like large amounts of caffeine - medications or herbs you need to avoid (which is basically all of them with the exception of multi-vitamins or prenatals), and practices with how exactly you need to pump,what containers to use, and how to maintain your pump parts and collection bottles. It's a lot to remember and takes dedication. I still think it's worth it.

For the milk bank I'm working with, the initial donation is 100 oz. which is just under a gallon. After your initial donation, you can donate as much and as often as you like before your baby is a year old. Because the milk is primarily given to babies in the NICU, the nutritional components of your milk have to be closer to what a young baby would need and since it changes as your baby grows, the nutritional composition of milk for a nursing toddler is completely different than that of an infant, so there is a cut off point.

While I was waiting for all my paperwork to clear so I could pick up bottles to use for collection, I actually started donating to a local mom that I know that was having supply issues. Practices like this are normally not recommended since when you "casually share" there is no health screenings and it is unknown what you could be passing along. Typically if you know and trust the donor, however, there is the potential of less risk. In any case, it was nice to be able to help that mom out as well as work on increasing my supply since I was planning on donating anyway. I've recently had my blood drawn and I am waiting for the ok to drop off the milk I've collected up to this point. I actually ran out of bottles because I no longer was pumping for the mom I know (she was able to get her supply back up - yay!) so I ended up filling up the bottles faster than I anticipated.

I really do strongly urge any nursing mom who has a well established supply to look into donating. There is such a high demand and since you will make more milk to meet the demand, you won't be starving your baby, you'll just be making extra. It may be a bit of a pain or inconvenience, but it is so needed. More babies can be helped and if there are enough people that are willing to donate, the likelihood of babies being helped beyond the NICU is higher. I think all babies should benefit from breast milk and if for whatever reason they can't get it from their mom, it should be easier to get it from the milk bank than it currently is. The only way for that to happen is to have more women take the time to donate. Here is the link to HMBANA to find the milk bank closest to you and see what you can do to help: http://www.hmbana.org/

On Natural Parenting (the Mainstream Way)

I was having a phone conversation with a friend of mine the other evening and I mentioned the mom group I'm in and how many of them are a bit "granola" or "crunchy" and how I fall in line with a number of the things they do. He asked if I was always like that or if I had gotten worse since he knew me in high school. Despite being a member of my high school's environmental club, I told him it may have gotten a little worse. Then I got to thinking about it as we talked a bit more. See, I'm not necessarily idealistic. So, while I may adhere to many of the "natural parenting" habits that many other "crunchy" mamas have (and you've probably seen it before if you've read previous blog posts); my personal reasons for being "crunchy" are often much more mainstream and at times, just plain selfish. Keep reading to see what I mean. Here are some examples of my "crunchy" parenting and my less than noble motives:

Breastfeeding:
This is one area where I get pretty crunchy. I'm a huge breastfeeding advocate and I do truly believe/know that it is what is best for babes. I'm even mildly anti-formula and fall in line with the recommendation that formula be the 4th option when it comes to baby feeding. I know in some cases it's necessary so I'm glad it's available; but, most moms can feed their babies by nursing and all too often they fall victim to "booby traps," have poor education or support, and/or have a lack of discipline and/or determination. As a bonus, breastfeeding is cheap, as in free, so that works out great for me too. But that's just a cherry on top.

Co-sleeping/Bed-sharing:
While some moms are fans of bed-sharing (all too often confused with co-sleeping) because it brings them closer to the baby for bonding or because of studies that have shown a decrease in SIDs, I do it because I'm just plain lazy. Yep, that's right. If the baby is right there with a boob in his face, I don't have to get up when he awakens me at night. I just plug him in and go back to sleep. I actually used to be against bed-sharing and thought that it was dangerous and it was likely that I'd smother the baby in my sleep. After falling asleep nursing from sheer exhaustion multiple times with my first, I finally gave in and let him sleep in the bed on purpose. I also did some more research and learned that many doctors actually recommend it as long as you follow certain safety measures to prevent accidental suffocation. So, after having my fears relieved a bit by my research (and discovering that I literally do not move when I sleep next to the baby), I let my laziness take over as well as my desire to get some sleep at night. With baby number two, I thought of having him co-sleep (in the room but on a separate surface) but my laziness took over and I just let him sleep in the bed.

Cloth Diapering:
Save the earth! Don't fill up the landfills with non-biodegradable petroleum based diapers! Don't put those chemicals on your sweet sensitive babies! Meh. Sorry, I can't say that any of that motivated my decision to cloth diaper. My husband actually suggested it and I agreed. Our reason? It's cheap. Yep, that's right. We looked at the bottom line. While we could probably swing paying for disposables, it would put a strain on our pocket books from time to time and prevent us from making other purchases or payments. So, while other mamas are looking out for the earth, we are looking out for our finances. It really isn't much of an inconvenience even with the extra laundry so that's a non-issue, and no, it doesn't impact our water bill either. I've heard cloth diapered babies potty train sooner, so that's cool, makes my life easier - lazy me. =)

No Baby Food:
No, I don't worry about all the preservatives in artificial foods (ok, maybe some...). Again, I'm cheap. I had intended to make my own baby food. I'm too lazy for that. Starting some at 6 mo but really picking up around 8 mo when my oldest really started showing an interest in foods, we just fed him whatever we had on our plates (we did make sure to introduce new things one at a time though). Sure, I prepared foods that were softer or easier to chew at first or overcooked the veggies to make them squishy, but puree? Nah, too much trouble. I've heard that feeding this way makes it easier to introduce regular foods with varying textures. Ok, bonus, but really, I'm just cheap and lazy.

Baby-wearing:
Research says that baby-wearing comforts babies and makes them more secure by keeping them close to mama or papa. It also says that babies that are worn, learn to be more sociable since they are carried higher up and see more faces as they are carried around in public. For me, these facts are all bonuses. I like to baby-wear because it makes my life easier. See that laziness popping up again? Here are some examples: At the grocery store, I don't have to lug around that heavy car seat carrier and I don't have to worry about leaving my kid in the cart when I reach for something on the shelf. When going to the park, for a walk, or to a craft fair or similar event, I don't have to mess with that bulky stroller. Sure the carrier and stroller have their uses, but if I can just strap the baby to me, I know they are safe and I can be hands free without excessive weight to lug around. Even better, now that I have two, my stretchy wrap is a life-saver so I can wear the infant and chase my toddler.

So, yeah, in many ways I fit in with the "crunchy" moms in my mom group. I'm glad for all the benefits my kiddos get from the choices I've made, but I'd be lying if I said those were my primary motivations for doing a bunch of these things. Let's be honest, we all want what's best for our kids, but sometimes our own motives get in the way. I lucked out in some of these ways where I can be cheap and lazy and my kiddos still get some great benefits. =)

On Trying to Breastfeed

On a networking site I belong to for moms I was recently intrigued by a poll that someone posted in a pregnancy forum. The poll asked if moms were planning on breastfeeding or formula feeding. Many of the votes (at least when I originally looked at it) were for breastfeeding. The additional comments had a number of responses saying how moms were going to try and see how it worked out.

I was kind of taken aback. I got the impression that many women, especially first time moms think that breastfeeding is a huge challenge and they get the impression that there is some reason they won't be successful. I really wanted to see if this impression was true so I added my own post to the forum asking moms what "try" meant to them. I straight up told them I was a breastfeeding advocate and for me, formula feeding is not an option. I asked them to what extent they would try and mentioned many possibilities such as lactation consultants, supply boosters, breastfeeding aids (nipple shield, SNS, etc.), support groups, etc. I asked what their breaking point was to where they would decide their trying wouldn't work and why they used the word "try" as though they had the impression there would be problems.

I got a pretty decent response from the moms, though many of them did not answer the questions specifically. There were several that seem to have the same impression that I do that if you say you are going to "try," it assumes that you anticipate problems and it allows a less successful nursing relationship that may turn to using formula instead. Many responded that to them there was no "try" they would or did do it and that their determination helped them. Much like me, it was an "I will" vs. "I'll try."

The vast majority of responses was exactly what I predicted, however. Many moms had previous experiences where they nursed and had challenges and eventually switched to formula feeding and therefore figured they would follow the same course with a new baby. I received many responses with varying degrees of hostility about how not everyone can breastfeed, there were too many complications, and how breastfeeding is "shoved down everyone's throat." Only a few moms discussed how the resources they used when difficulties presented themselves helped them overcome the hurdles and they had very successful nursing relationships with their babies. Another few mentioned how with previous pregnancies, they were uneducated and didn't know any better. This, I believe is at the heart of the matter.

Many of the moms that presented difficulties mentioned using some of the resources I mentioned in my original post that can help overcome hurdles of breastfeeding, but most didn't scratch the surface or go very far beyond one or two things to discover what was wrong and find a solution or management plan. Some list seeing several lactation consultants, but I wonder if they were looking for a quick fix or if they only sought help from a single consultant once (none that stopped breastfeeding said they saw consultants for multiple visits or long-term consultations - of course, they may have, I just don't know). One mom who ended up formula feeding said consultants didn't tell her anything she didn't already know, she didn't take a preparation class, and that she was too intelligent for support groups. She also didn't know what nipple shields or supplemental nursers were. Sorry, but I hardly think she knew everything she claimed to know - or at least enough to allow her to continue.

So, after all this, what do I figure out? My suspicions were true. So many breastfeeding relationships fail because of lack of education, support, and will. I beg every new mom that is looking forward to breastfeeding - especially if she's had trouble in the past or if this is her first child to educate herself and find local support. Breastfeeding rarely succeeds without it.

And one more thing I learned - many moms think that a low milk supply means the end of nursing. Not true! People talk about supplementing with formula when what they actually mean is formula feeding. Supplementing means "in addition to." Some low milk supply issues can only be helped so much - that is true. That doesn't mean that nursing has to be given up completely. Nursing and supplementing can work together and the baby will benefit from any amount of breast milk that he or she gets.

So, for those that are looking to breastfeed for the first time or looking for a better experience than before, please consider the following:

Breastfeeding Classes: Classes are available through community centers, hospitals, birthing centers, and many other places to help you get prepared. They will teach you about how to hold the baby, how to get a proper latch (when the baby attaches to the breast), how milk production works, how to maintain appropriate levels of milk production (supply and demand), what is an appropriate amount for a newborn and how to tell if your baby is getting enough, what are some common challenges and how to overcome them, and many other things. I came from a very strong breastfeeding background and I still learned an astounding amount of information from my class.


Breastfeeding Aids: Many breastfeeding aids are available. They come in the form of nipple shields (for nursing with painful nipples or inverted nipples), herbal supplements or prescriptions for boosting milk supply (if this is an issues), creams and pad for sore nipples, breast pumps and accessories, breastfeeding pillows, nursing covers, supplemental nursing systems, and many many more. Some of these are discussed in breast feeding classes, others you can learn about from consultants or support groups - not to mention where to get them. There are many things that can help breast feeding go smoother or assist you when you meet challenges.


Lactation Consultants: Lactation consultants are invaluable. They can help you on a one-on-one basis to make sure you have a good latch, they can help monitor intake, offer solutions to problems, identify the source of problems you may encounter. It is very common for moms that had c-sections or premature babies to experience challenges to breastfeeding especially in the early stages and consultants can help to turn around some of the negative breastfeeding related effects of the birth and early days and assist moms in having a very successful nursing relationship with their baby. Consultants come in many forms with varying degrees of education. For common problems, a Community Breastfeeding Educator (CBE) or La Leche League Leader (LLL Leader) can be a wonderful asset. For more challenging issues, a Certified Lactation Consultant (CLC), Licensed Lactation Consultant (LLC), or International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) can help. Seek out local consultants so you know where one is in your area and consider a prenatal consultation.

Support Groups: Support groups are not just for the down and broken. With so many challenges and perceived challenges to breastfeeding support groups are wonderful. They provide a low pressure environment to discuss anything you have questions about. Many of the moms may have experienced something similar and can tell you what worked for them. You may also learn about breastfeeding challenges you never knew were a possibility and how they can be overcome. You also are more likely to learn to more confidently nurse in public and learn some tricks to doing so discreetly. By being surrounded by other nursing moms, you are more likely to succeed with your breastfeeding goals. Support groups are available at community centers, hospitals, churches, shops, through La Leche League (which also offers educational discussions), and many other places. Consider finding a group and joining before the baby is born for an eye-opening and educational experience.

On Weaning

When it came to weaning my oldest, I wanted to take the easy approach - I wanted him to self-wean. I had heard horror stories about how difficult it was to initiate it as a mom. I also would have been comfortable nursing until the age of two which is recommended by the World Health Organization, but much longer than that, I wasn't too keen on. At 15 months, my little one showed no sign of slowing, which was fine, but I wondered if he would call it quits on his own (which I preferred) or if I'd have to step in once he got a little older.

My "easy" approach, and what I really hoped for, was to get pregnant, have my supply drop, and then have him wean because of a lack of supply. Well, it kinda happened that way. But, as my sister once told me, we make plans and God laughs. I really believe this is true sometimes.

I did get pregnant. My little one was about 12 months old when I got pregnant. As I said, at 15 months he was showing no sign of slowing, so the reduction in milk supply seemed to not be an issue. Until it was. Around 16 months, he started to be really bothered by it. We had weeks, I'd say 2-3 at least where he'd ask to nurse so I'd oblige. I followed the recommendations for easier weaning that said, "Don't offer, don't refuse" - a supposedly gentler way to ease them through the process of self-weaning. But that time period was pure torture. He'd ask, and I'd nurse him, but after several moments of not getting much of anything, he'd sit up and show me the signs for "milk," "more," and "please." I'd change sides so he could nurse on the other side. Again, after a few moments, he'd sit up and request, "more milk please" signing frantically. We went back and forth several times, each time, he'd get more and more frustrated. Fussing and crying was added into the mix of frantic sign language. Eventually, he'd climb down off of my lap and stand in front of me, tears streaming down his cheeks, crying and signing incessantly. It broke my heart. I was helpless. And this happened several times a day for weeks. Every time I'd sit down, no matter where, he'd beg me to nurse. Every time, I was completely lost. There was no way I could help my little boy. I felt like a terrible mother. His world was falling apart, and it was my fault. What had I done to him? Occasionally, I'd try to offer him a sippy cup with milk. He had started drinking cow milk by this age, but when he wanted to nurse, he refused the sippy cup and swatted it out of my hand. I cried along with him many of those times because I had no clue what to do about it. There was no way I could ease his pain.

It did get better though. Eventually, he would take the sippy cup here and there. Then, he'd take it more frequently. We were able to reach a time when he'd nurse even with little supply for short sessions and then go about his business. Our main nursing sessions became when he went to bed for a nap or for the night. He started sleeping through the night more frequently by this point too. Some nights he'd wake up and scream and cry and I'd nurse him back down. Other times, he'd awaken, but go back to sleep on his own. This was around 17 months of age.

After a while though, the lack of milk available made him nurse for even shorter periods of time. It wasn't long enough to settle him down for sleeping. I'd always offer milk in a sippy cup before bed, but turned instead to standing and swaying to settle him down for naps and bed time. We've been doing this for a couple of weeks now.

Looking back, I really don't want to experience those early times of reduced supply ever again. It was horrible, heart-breaking, and made me question my mothering ability. After he came to terms with it, weaning was a dream and couldn't have gone smoother. I had no angst about him not continuing for longer (after all, I really had no intentions to tandem nurse. Kudos to those who do it, but it's not for me). I was at peace with letting him grow up and ease away from it. I miss the cuddle time with him immensely, but the nursing itself, I'm not mourning the loss of. It happened like I wanted, but not how I expected. I really thought it'd be easier, but I didn't anticipate his reaction. I only hope that other moms that experience forced weaning due to pregnancy acknowledge that this can happen - it may not, but it is a possibility. I don't think anything can really prepare you for it, but there you go - the info is out there.

On Nursing in Public vs. Smoking in Public

During World Breastfeeding Week, I remember reading a blog entry that was linked from one of the many breastfeeding articles, blogs, and forum discussions that were prominently linked or displayed on some of the social networking sites I belong to. I'm not sure where the actual link came from, but the blog stood out in my mind. I'm not even sure it was a blog, it could have very well been an article or editorial, but the actual source wasn't my focus, it was the subject matter.

The woman who wrote the essay, I'll call it, was intending to bring to light the fact that nursing in public is legal and a woman's right as much as smoking is. She discussed how she felt it was wrong to hold your breath or move on quickly past smokers or make rude comments because they are practicing their legal right to smoke. The same should be done for nursing mothers - rather than balk, make rude comments, or expect the mother to cover up or find another place to nurse, you should just go about your business because they are practicing their legal right to nurse in public.

While I understand the point she was trying to make, and agree with her position on nursing in public, I don't agree that it is the same as smoking in public. Yes, both are perfectly legal, I get that, but smoking has a much more profound affect on those not participating in the activity than nursing does.

When a mother is nursing in public, an offended or disturbed onlooker simply has to avert their eyes and move on. There is no one holding them in that spot or requiring them to watch a woman feed her baby. There is no need for them to focus in that particular direction.

The same is not so for walking by or seeing a smoker. When passing a smoker, one can hold their breath, but that does not mean that they are free from the ill effects that can occur from going past or being around that person. Even if the passerby made a point not to breathe, third-hand smoke (the smoke that settles on clothing and has been proven to be just as harmful as second-hand smoke) can still cause harm to the health of the person going by long after they passed the individual. Not to mention, an adult may know to hold their breath to protect themselves from the ill-effects of second-hand smoke, but a young child or infant doesn't know to do the same. The system of a baby is not even mature yet. Add that to the fact that many smokers ignore the laws that require them to smoke far away from entrances to public locations and it brings in a whole new set of problems. Above all, even a smoker who is following the law, can blow smoke into the air that can be carried by the wind and travel to a location near an entrance or near an individual that doesn't care to be negatively impacted by second- or third-hand smoke.

So, I would have to argue, that my health is negatively affected by someone smoking in public and I am not affected at all by someone nursing in public. They both may be legal, but they are not the same.

*As an added note: I am sorry if I offend someone who chooses to smoke, but I do not appreciate my efforts to keep my children healthy and free from the harmful effects of second- and third-hand smoke being unavoidably shattered simply because "it's legal". I don't say anything because as the original writer of the essay mentioned, it is within their rights. However, if you do choose to smoke, I beg you to respect those of us that choose not to and at least follow the law and smoke in approved areas. I know you can't change which way the wind blows, but you can do your part to respect the rights of others.

On Nursing in Public

Nursing in public becomes a really hot topic, mostly with people that don't have kids or never breastfed. So many people will see a woman nursing in public and get really upset that she's flashing everyone. I can guarantee you, this is not her intention. She doesn't want her boob out there for everyone to see. Probably more likely, she's hoping that people will just look away and mind their own business. Either that or she is completely confident in what she is doing and does not care if people see her breast because it's more important to her that her baby gets fed.

World Breastfeeding Week just passed recently and there were many posts flying around Facebook and personal blogs about the wonders of breastfeeding. Nursing in public naturally came up in many of those places. One blog I read was from a woman who was pro-breastfeeding. She described three situations that she observed in a single day about women nursing in public. One mom bared all and tandem nursed her toddler and baby, another nursed her baby with her shirt positioned so it slid down over her if the baby unlatched, and the third mom fought the baby and the sweltering heat to cover up with a nursing cover creating a much larger scene than the other two.

Now, the way you choose to nurse in public is of course a personal choice. I can also tell you from experience that the more you do it, and the more people you know that do it, the more comfortable you will be. The first time I needed to feed the baby away from the home, I actually took him out to the car and sat in the back seat nursing him. That was the last time I did that. It was too hot and completely ridiculous for me to subject myself to that. Since then, I learned the skill of using a blanket as a nursing cover. Before long, the baby received a blanket that actually had Velcro on two corners which worked nicely as a cover as I could just attach it around my neck. That is until my baby decided that he didn't want to be covered.

In talking to many moms, there are certain things you need to know about nursing covers. First, the earlier you introduce them, the easier it is for your baby to accept nursing with something over their head. Second, almost all babies will eventually get to the point where they no longer tolerate the cover over their head. I have experienced this first hand. Often, you create more of a scene in trying to get the cover over the baby than you would if you just nursed them.

So, what's a woman to do? While I know that many moms aren't bothered by flashing the occasional stranger in the process of nursing a baby, I'm not one of them. I have nursed without much stress in my mom group, but then, since it started as a breastfeeding support group, having boobs out all of the time really becomes a non-issue. In other situations though, I've tried to find the happy medium of covering myself without too much of a scene - especially since the baby is less accepting of the cover. Nursing tops make nursing in public the easiest for access. They allow you to quickly latch on the baby without pulling up your whole shirt or practically undressing leading to less of a scene. I have found the easiest thing to do is use the baby's head to block yourself as you uncover your breast and latch the baby on. If the baby lets go, I've found that pulling the baby close to you usually will block an unsuspecting public from seeing you flash them. Again, the baby's head is blocking them from seeing anything. Occasionally I will get the baby in place and use a small cloth like a burp rag to cover up anything that may still be visible. This is usually less annoying to the nursing baby. Also, holding their free hand with your free hand is often effective for keeping the baby from pulling the cloth off. This does prevent you from continuing to eat or do whatever you were doing, but it does work.

I hope this helps you find a way to make it less visible. Remember though, it is better to accidentally flash someone than have a cranky, screaming, hungry baby. There is absolutely no reason to feel you have to excuse yourself or go hide some place that may be unhygienic, like a bathroom. One more thing, nursing in public is protected by law so never feel that you are in the wrong if you need to feed your baby. It may be awkward at first, but you'll get more and more used to it and ultimately be more comfortable. Believe me, no matter where you choose to feed your baby, you have the support of every nursing mother around you. They are all sending you a silent, "Congratulations!"

On Starting Solids

So many opinions and ideas you could go crazy. I feel like I kinda did.

If ever there was a topic that you just have to go with your gut, this is one of them. I had some serious anxiety about starting solids with my little one. I had a whole list of questions to ask my pediatrician and I was reading a ton and asking my mom and a bunch of other moms what they did and I got lots of conflicting information, enough to drive you batty.

At first, I thought I was going to do what my mom did. I'm not sure at what age she started us on solids, but I know that the method was very regimented. First thing offered was rice cereal, then bland veggies, then sweet veggies, then fruits, then meats. Dairy was offered after the age of one and nuts after two. Each food got offered for 3-5 days before trying the next and the most common form was pureed, although, I didn't really get a sense of when to try other textures...

Other stuff I read starts with purees in any variety of foods, veggies, fruits, meats for babies around four months, and then when they are about six months they can try blends of foods and mushed foods that are not quite as fluid as purees.

Still other places I read would tell moms that there was no reason to feed baby cereals as they don't need to extra carbs and there is little nutritional value aside from carbohydrates. I've also heard from moms that rice is one of those foods that can cause constipation. Several places I read that the iron added to baby cereal can cause constipation.

One site I read, as well as listening to some moms that breastfed made sense to me and helped to clear up a lot of the confusion, but I was still anxious. This site was http://kellymom.com it is a site for breastfeeding and they go over all kinds of breastfeeding topics including starting solids. for babies that were breastfed.

The AAP (American Association of Pediatrics) recommends breastfeeding exclusively for six months before starting solids. I have no clue what that means for formula fed babies. After that, according to kellymom and a doctor that teaches breastfeeding information (as sent to me in a link from my lactation consultant mother-in-law), since iron stores start to deplete at six months, meats and other foods high in iron are good choices to give babies. They also say start with sweeter foods, since breast milk is sweet. One more thing they've mentioned, as well is that once babies are six months of age, they don't really need to be given pureed foods. They can handle thicker textures.

I've even heard from a lactation consultant (and a few other sources) that a baby's nutrition from 6 mo to a year is mostly from breast milk anyway and that foods are more about experiences and getting used to new textures and flavors (although, breast milk changes flavors with whatever the mom eats, so the baby should already be used to differing flavors). Aside from that, as long as they are introduced to something between 6 and 8 months, they shouldn't have problems with variety later in life.

So, all of this information made me really confused. I had no clue what to do. Did I go with the way my mom did it all those years ago? I still know people that feed this way. Do I follow some of the other places? I wasn't sure. I had planned on cooking my own baby food, pureeing it, freezing parts of it and going all out, but with all of the conflicting information, I started to question what I was going to do. I had a whole list of questions for my pediatrician when we went in for the baby's six month visit.

At our visit my pediatrician said one thing that made my anxiety melt away. He told me that the baby was doing well and if I continued to exclusively breastfeed until he saw him again at nine months that would be ok. He wasn't worried about the baby's nutrition.

So, I finally forgot it all. Ok, not everything, but the whole stress, and regimentation of feeding I could live without. I decided on a simple path. Give the baby whatever struck my fancy, be it something random or something we were eating. I had the ok to only breastfeed if that was my choice so whatever else he ate or didn't eat didn't matter. According to my pediatrician, the only things I needed to avoid were berries, citrus fruits, and egg whites until nine months; dairy until a year; nuts until much later. He wanted me to keep track of what things cause what diaper issues - in other words, give new foods one at a time so you can see how the kid reacts - and that was it.

My baby likes to play with the food and it wasn't until 7 months or so that he actually would put it to his mouth on his own. Some of it he eats, most of it ends up on the floor, on his tray, or on his clothing, but no matter. He's having fun and exploring. I don't bother much with feeding it to him on a spoon or anything. I figure he'll spit out the same amount if I put it in his mouth or he does. I also don't want to cause both of us stress by shoveling food in his mouth and making it a negative experience. I'll pop a piece in his mouth here or there, but otherwise, I leave it up to him.

So far at eight months he has tried the following foods: banana, chicken, sweet potatoes, ground turkey, broccoli, potatoes, rice, green peas, grapes, apple, and ground beef. There is, of course, a lot more to come in the near future and probably some things I've forgotten, but oh well. I'm not stressing. It's all about the experience.

In the end, it is what you are most comfortable with. All moms have to do what they think is right. My method may cause people to get upset or angry that I'm doing it wrong, but it is what I've decided, besides, I figure if at this point I had continued to not give him any food and he was still exclusively nursing, that's still ok according to the pediatrician - his health is not in jeopardy, so anything  he does get it just the cherry on the top. Good luck with your feeding experiences and read a lot, but do what feels right to you.