It's a pretty common phenomena that toddlers often regress when a new baby is introduced. The exact reasons are not known, likely because it's a little different for every toddler. Most people will blame it on the attention that the new baby gets that once belonged to the now older brother or sister. In most cases, the primary area of regression that people talk about is in the area of potty training. In fact, I had never really heard of regression in any other area and as my toddler continued on his course potty training when they baby was born, I thought we were in the clear and that toddler regression was a thing of legend. Or at the very least, one of those new baby complications that we were blessed to skip.
Fast-forward about 10-12 mo. That's right, the baby, now a toddler and the toddler now technically a "pre-schooler" (despite not actually being in pre-school, he's just in that age group). I am now seeing the regression that people speak of. Kinda. As opposed to an emotional, unintentional regression, I'm seeing the kind that is done with full knowledge and purpose.
The primary area I see the change in my now three year old, is when requesting something. Whether it's a snack, drink, whatever, he now forgets that he is perfectly capable of forming sentences and reverts to mono-syllabic utterances and hand signs. I'm all for him keeping up with his sign language, but as his 15 mo. old brother only knows a few signs and uses the sign for "milk" to indicate he wants something to eat or drink and adds a "mamamamama" to the request, my three year old has started doing the same thing. Never mind that he can differentiate between food and drink, hunger and thirst, can verbalize it and sign it. He follows the example of his younger brother and I then get two children whining "mamamamamama" and pumping their fists as though milking a cow in a "milk" sign language gesture.
Along with the disappearing verbal skills, I am also finding that my three year old is following the baby's example in a number of other ways as well. Climbing for instance is a big one. Now, my oldest has always been a big climber, but he learned that certain things were off limits, like the kitchen table. Not that he didn't do it when he was younger, he just was taught that it's not appropriate, and therefore, stopped trying. Now that the baby climbs up there and hasn't learned yet that he shouldn't, my older son thinks it's a game and will climb up with his brother too. Many rules are going out the window, like no throwing inside, no screaming inside, no hitting, etc. My toddler even thinks that it is his job to reprimand the baby despite the fact that he himself is committing the same act of disobedience. And he knows better, obviously, since he's telling me the baby is doing it.
I have no solution. I wish I did. My oldest doesn't understand that the baby can't quite comprehend these rules that he has learned. He thinks that the baby gets away with things and that is an invitation to do them as well. He believes the rules should be the same for all kids. It kinda reminds me of the impressions of older siblings thinking that the younger ones are spoiled. Well, no wonder. The rules are different. But not different because the baby is spoiled. Different because the baby isn't there yet emotionally and mentally. Developmentally. Yep, then it hits home. Yet another lesson to keep in mind. Those things you think were so unfair when you were a kid. You don't get it until you have kids of your own and then it clicks. Sorry for complaining, Mom.
